Man, I'm finding myself in a bitter, pissy mood tonight. Maybe it's PMS? I have no idea. My cycles are still really wonky, presumably because of the breastfeeding. (Or more correctly- the milk making.)
I think our PT set it off yesterday, though. She basically insinuated that I was making up that Robbie doesn't like tummy time. It's a long story, but when giving me my list of stuff to work on for the week, she said more tummy time (as always.) I sort of chuckled and said "Poor Robbie. He's not such a big fan of the tummy time." or something to that affect. She said that he had done just fine with it today.
I agreed but said it wasn't always so good.
She responded "Huh. I guess I've just hit the lottery all three times I've been here, then." in a kind of snide way.
Perhaps she missed the whole deformed-stomach-severe-reflux-two-stomach-surgeries-multiple-hospitalizations-ridiculous-number-of-evaluations-by-experts history in his chart?
Yeah. The kid just LOVES his stomach. I'm a total crackhead for thinking he doesn't.
Nevermind that he fussed and cried the last time she was here, so I don't know what she was talking about with the "all three times" bullshit.
Anyway, I took away from her comments that she thinks either I was saying I wouldn't do as she was requesting (which was NOT the case) or that she thinks that I'm not doing enough.
Now, number one, why in the hell would I fight tooth and nail to get PT started and then refuse her advice? I'd have to be pretty screwed up in the head to insist on PT and then refuse it.
Number two, every fucking thing we do around here is therapy! Sometimes I feel so bad for Robbie because he never gets to just play. All of this toys are developmental toys, and I must put him on his stomach (which, contrary to her assertion, he does NOT appreciate) 20 times a day.
Since he's rolling from belly to back so well, it's more challenging because I have to basically hold his hips down to keep him from immediately rolling off of it. Of course, he's still trying to roll over and now not only is he pissed because he's on his stomach but because the task he's trying to accomplish (rolling over) isn't working the way he knows it should.
So yeah, let me try to do a little more therapy with him. I'll see what I can do to fit it in between my mani/pedi, hair appointment and daily massage. As if.
Now, of course, I'm defensive because I feel like she's saying that he's behind because I'm a shitty parent. And as I have a good dose of mommy guilt (body failed him and all) already, I take that to heart. So cue even greater amounts of mommy guilt.
So you can trust that Robbie went to bed exhausted tonight. He probably got a week's worth of therapy today.
He might hate my guts and never gain any weight because he's burning it all off from exercise and grunting and groaning, but hey- anything to please the PT that we're paying for.