Thursday, May 21, 2009

Vent.

Man, I'm finding myself in a bitter, pissy mood tonight. Maybe it's PMS? I have no idea. My cycles are still really wonky, presumably because of the breastfeeding. (Or more correctly- the milk making.)

I think our PT set it off yesterday, though. She basically insinuated that I was making up that Robbie doesn't like tummy time. It's a long story, but when giving me my list of stuff to work on for the week, she said more tummy time (as always.) I sort of chuckled and said "Poor Robbie. He's not such a big fan of the tummy time." or something to that affect. She said that he had done just fine with it today.

I agreed but said it wasn't always so good.

She responded "Huh. I guess I've just hit the lottery all three times I've been here, then." in a kind of snide way.

Perhaps she missed the whole deformed-stomach-severe-reflux-two-stomach-surgeries-multiple-hospitalizations-ridiculous-number-of-evaluations-by-experts history in his chart?

Yeah. The kid just LOVES his stomach. I'm a total crackhead for thinking he doesn't.
Nevermind that he fussed and cried the last time she was here, so I don't know what she was talking about with the "all three times" bullshit.

Anyway, I took away from her comments that she thinks either I was saying I wouldn't do as she was requesting (which was NOT the case) or that she thinks that I'm not doing enough.

Now, number one, why in the hell would I fight tooth and nail to get PT started and then refuse her advice? I'd have to be pretty screwed up in the head to insist on PT and then refuse it.

Number two, every fucking thing we do around here is therapy! Sometimes I feel so bad for Robbie because he never gets to just play. All of this toys are developmental toys, and I must put him on his stomach (which, contrary to her assertion, he does NOT appreciate) 20 times a day.

Since he's rolling from belly to back so well, it's more challenging because I have to basically hold his hips down to keep him from immediately rolling off of it. Of course, he's still trying to roll over and now not only is he pissed because he's on his stomach but because the task he's trying to accomplish (rolling over) isn't working the way he knows it should.

So yeah, let me try to do a little more therapy with him. I'll see what I can do to fit it in between my mani/pedi, hair appointment and daily massage. As if.

Now, of course, I'm defensive because I feel like she's saying that he's behind because I'm a shitty parent. And as I have a good dose of mommy guilt (body failed him and all) already, I take that to heart. So cue even greater amounts of mommy guilt.

So you can trust that Robbie went to bed exhausted tonight. He probably got a week's worth of therapy today.

He might hate my guts and never gain any weight because he's burning it all off from exercise and grunting and groaning, but hey- anything to please the PT that we're paying for.

/vent.

---Trish

21 comments:

Mrs. Spit said...

Bag.

FWIW, I find in situations like that a wide eyed look, with a "whatever do you mean by that" can be extremely effective at pointing out remarks like that are not acceptable.

Additionally, perhaps a call to her supervisor, so that the supervisor can assist with bedside manner?

Stacie said...

Ouch, Trish. I would have taken offense to that remark, too. If she is annoying like that all the time, you could request a different PT, maybe for someone with a lot more tact. They work for you, it isn't hte other way around. Hugs.

I totally get your feelings about the therapy you are doing with Robbie. A lot of times I feel like a drill sargeant for my little guys. I keep telling myself it is all for them, but it sure does put a lot of pressure on me (and them).

Tracy said...

Oh, that hurts. I think you should speak up next time the PT is over.

FWIW, I constantly got the "he needs more tummy time" from our PT too. It's their freaking mantra and cure for all.

Andrew definitely had tummy time good days and bad days.

Hang in there. You're doing a wonderful job.

niobe said...

I like Mrs. Spit's idea. It's probably much, much better than my idea of scratching her eyes out. Uh, figuratively, I mean.

Anyway, I think the vast, vast majority of babies -- even those who haven't had any stomach issues or surgeries -- tend not to like tummy time. In fact, my pedi said, last time I was there, that most little ones she sees can't stand tummy time and protest it loudly. So, the PT, in addition to being rude and an idiot, doesn't seem to know what she's talking about.

The Bugala's said...

Maybe she can also explain WHY he needs tummy time IF he can roll over AND support his head. Has she ever had of a kid being a kid?! Sure maybe he needs help with other things but it sounds like he has tummy time (or the lack there of) down just fine!

Adriane said...

That would piss me off, too. My girls struggle with tummy time as well. It's maddening.

Two Hands said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Two Hands said...

I have yet to meet a baby that likes tummy time and doesn't protest loudly when it's happening. Ridiculous. I really, really can't stand people that assume that what happens while they are there is the status quo. How ignorant.
I'm sorry that twit has added to your guilt. You don't deserve it. We know you're doing a great job.
Maybe she was having a bad day, if you get the same crap next time around, boot her ass and get someone else. You have enough to deal with.
(Can you tell I'm pretty pissed off here?)

Michelle said...

Ugh. So insensitive and rude!

camille said...

Oh man, you just took me back to all our therapies...they lasted almost 3 years...several times a week, all different people, PT, OT, feeding, speech, behavior, social work would be in our house giving me advice. And there were times when I was like SCREW THIS. I'm so SICK of getting other people's advice on what is best for my child. For the most part, we did gain a lot of knowledge from them, but I'm telling ya, I SO GET the whole "you need to listen to me, I'm open to your suggestions but you need to believe me when I'm telling you the truth about my child" moment that inevitably happens. It also was quite interesting to me that several of our therapists didn't have children. That summed up a lot of the problem right there - they just didn't know what a mother knows. Thinking of you and good for you for sticking it out.

Anonymous said...

here we go again!

Kim said...

As you know, M's PT does this also. She's a little snot. She basically insinuated that I either don't do her (TORTURE) stretches for her Torticollis, or don't do it enough - simply because I said that I felt badly for M while the PT was doing her stretches. I got, 'well, I hope you're doing this at home' back, in a snide tone. Um ya.. don't worry, I torture my kid daily with neck stretches against every ounce of better judgment in my feeling, but I STILL FEEL BAD FOR THE KID.

HazelMay said...

Really "Can't-ball-up-and-post-with-your-name" Anonymous? You wouldn't be offended if someone insinuated you were doing all you can for your kid? Right. I buy that. Asshole.

Love,
"Someone-who-has-the-balls-to-call-you-out-on-your-asshattery" HazelMay
AKA Beer
AKA Beerflu

hthtiagfysnft

Though! I wonder! Maybe Anonymous IS the PT! The pieces! They are all coming together!

Anthony's Mommy said...

We had one EI therapist that told me that Anthony was equivalent to a "crack baby" Lets just say that lady NEVER walked foot in my house again!!! We are going to be starting up speech thearpy again with a different company that is different then the CDC (cause I hate our CDC here) and hopefully that helps. Sometimes you have to get rid of therapists and find another one that works with you and your child better. its so hard and stressful!

Kim

the calm before the stork said...

I'm a new visitor and don't know the whole back story so forgive me if my comment is out of whack...

Can you get a different therapist? I related to the way you took her comment to heart. I wondered, in a perfect world -- could you ask her next time you see her, "Hey, by the way, when you said "xxxx", were you insinuating a)... b)... c)... because that was my impression, and I'd hate for us to have a combative relationship or be operating under a misunderstanding. You couldn't possibly be criticizing my parenting, could you?" (/end fantasy confrontation).

My other two cents (not knowing why the PT is so obsessed with Tummy Time for you -- I'll go back and look in archives): My first pediatrician told me Tummy Time was not necessary, that it's an old wives tale. My moms-group leader confirmed his assertion somewhat, saying that babies walk whether they crawl first or not, and tummy time MAY help with crawling. My kid NEVER stayed on his tummy for tummy time for one single minute, crawled like an army soldier, belly-style until he was 12 months, crawled regular-style till 17 months, and at 18 months is finally walking. So go figure.

areyoukiddingme said...

Not to defend the bad behavior of the PT, but I'd guess that half of the recommendations that she makes to people get ignored, and she's probably frustrated with her profession. It may not have anything to do with you and your little guy. She should totally watch her tone - no doubt about that.

Trish said...

areyoukiddingme- you're probably right. And workig in customer service for years, I know how it can wear on you. But still... She needs to get over it.
I had to beg for them to come do PT. I'm definitely down with following directions and trying everything.

calmbeforethestork-
He's very weak in the trunk and upper body. If I could get him to pump some iron, we'd be great. *LOL*

HazelMay said...

Kind of ditto TCBTS. I know Z isn't SN, and her pedi really pushed TT HARD, but she hated it until about 7m, then she tolerated it. Then she hated it again while she was figuring out the whole crawling thing. She crawled at 10m and walked at 12.5m.

Did you know that humans didn't do TT for millennia and still managed to learn to crawl and walk? Astounding.

I know you are doing as much as you can. He's doing as much as he can. And you're both doing great.

Anonymous said...

: ( Sorry for all of THAT! Hope today is better...

Patti B.

Heidi said...

I got all worked up on your behalf just reading about it. Grrr! I'm thinking of all sorts of unkind things right now.

Amy said...

Ouch! She sucks. >.< And I like Mrs Spit's suggestion, too. Sigh. I'm sorry, Trish. :(