Thursday, April 19, 2012

Good kids

Tonight I weighed Charlotte. She's 14 pounds 6.5 ounces. That is officially more than Robbie weighed at a year old. She's 5 months actual, 4 adjusted.

I try not to compare them but it really is impossible. Mostly I keep thinking how much easier it is this time. I mean, it's harder in that there are two of them and it's hectic, but between just knowing what I'm doing a little more and Charlotte just being easier, it just isn't as hard as Robbie's first year.

I worry about the comparisons. People ask about it all the time. I get "Is she a good baby?" a lot. I got it about Robbie, too. I answered the same way then and I do now. "oh yes!" Even though Robbie was a higher maintenance baby doesn't mean he was bad. After I say yes, people automatically ask if she sleeps, if she eats. I say yes, she's a pretty good sleeper, though we have bad nights. And yes, she loves to eat, just not from a bottle. People always laugh and talk about how much easier I have it this time.

That part isn't untrue, but it still troubles me. Robbie is usually with me. I don't want him to get the impression he was a bad baby or even a difficult baby. I don't want him to be pushed into the "trouble" role and Charlotte to be pressed as the "good girl." I hope they're both good kids, but they are who they are.

I don't really know what to say. I don't want to be rude or make people uncomfortable, but I also really do object to labeling them as good vs bad.

Robbie has certainly had his challenges. But he's come so far. Even when he misbehaves, I can see the good in it. Today I had to talk to his teacher about his bossiness. This from the kid with a major speech delay. He's in trouble for telling the other kids what to do too much. It needs to be handled, of course, but a little part of me is like "hell yeah!"

We're coming up on the first anniversary of him having his g-tube removed. This weekend I asked if he wanted a hamburger and he said "Yeah! And french fries and beans!" His latest love is "beans and mud." You and I know that dish as pork-n-beans. Messy, squishy beans! I still get choked up sometimes when he scarfs something down or guzzles some water. I'm not sure it's ever going to get old.

He's a kid who has been through hell but still loves to go to the doctor. We pull in the parking garage of the medical building and he says "Yay-yay, Dr Polito!"

And Charlotte is an easy-going baby. She was sleeping 6 hour stretches as soon as the doctor would let us let her. She loves to eat. I haven't started her on solids yet, but she's already watching every bite we take like she's trying to convince us to give her a bite. If she's crying, she's hungry, tired or lonely. Pick her up and talk to her and she'll grin ear to ear. This morning she woke me up just cooing happily, just waiting for me to get her. When I rolled over to see her, she looked like she hadn't seen me in a year. "Hi mommy! So glad to see you!" Despite last night having been one of the rougher nights, you can't not smile back.

Robbie and Charlotte are a great pair. Today she was laying on the blanket and managed to pull the corner over it over her face. She was grunting and yelling to announce her displeasure. I asked Robbie to save her. He ran over and pulled the blanket back. Then they spent a long minute just grinning at each other. Robbie announced proudly "Baby Charlotte smiles!" They love each other. They are both good kids.



ggop said...

I get what you mean Trish. It was no fault of Robbie that he caused you more sleepless nights. Yes, people should be a little sensitive especially since he is probably soaking up all that he hears like a sponge.

Yay for his love towards Charlotte.

Bridie said...

The whole good baby question always gets me. Next time, shake it up and say "well, no, actually she's a complete asshole" just to see their reaction :)

What baby isn't good and cute and sweet???

I'm with you on the misbehavior - Gavin's behavior has been awful lately, but he's still a sweet, good kid deep down inside. We focus on "we love you, but we don't like the way you are behaving right now, or the choices you are making right now" vs "what's wrong with you, why are you so naughty?", etc, etc.

A and W mom said...

Interesting. That makes sense. It's tricky when you have more than one kid; people are just dying to make comparisons. And to some extent, it's natural, but of course you don't want either of them to develop a complex.
Really glad they are doing well. You're right, they are both amazing kids. :)