Protein

Well, I guess pregnancy #4 hit its first snag.

At my OB appointment last Monday, I was given the results of my 24 hour urine. Protein was at 210. that's up from 140 pre-pregnancy. "Normal" is under 150. "Concerning" (aka: mild preeclampsia) is 300. This was not my regular OB (who has the nerve to be on maternity leave. How dare she!) but fortunately I like all the docs in the practice, so it was okay. Her leading theories are either diabetes or kidney damage.

I really would be surprised if it were diabetes. Being a fat woman with lot of doctors, I've been tested 7 ways from Sunday and everything is always normal. Dr. Sunshine wanted yet another A1C check (I'll save you the googling, it's basically a long term blood sugar test), which she ordered that day. It came back fine. Again.

Kidney disease... well, that's another story. Now, I was also tested for that before we got the blessing to try again, but really, that's not unlikely. My protein levels just before Robbie was born were over 9000. That's......bad. Really bad. Like darn-near-kidney-failure bad. Logic would lead one to believe that my kidneys do have some residual damage, even if it didn't show up in the preconception tests.

In any case, to say this was unwelcome news is pretty much the understatement of the year. I managed not to burst into tears in the middle of the office, but just barely. The rest of the appointment was good. I ended up with another ultrasound because they still couldn't get the baby on the Doppler (still can't at home, either.) and everything looked great. All my other tests were perfect. But all I could hear in my brain was "protein", "not normal", and then words that I'm still processing "hoping to get you at least into the 30s." While 30 would be better than 26, I don't want any 30s less than 36. I really want 37.

I left the office and called David. He was equally disheartened. That was almost worse. He's always so positive and hopeful. To hear him comment about how crappy all my pregnancies are- it stung. I felt guilty both about being such a failure and for dampening his optimism.

By the afternoon, I had talked with some preemie mom friends with a better ability to see things clearly. The panic eased and I realize that I still am where I was before the appointment. Worried, but hopeful, with prayer to guide me through. If it is kidney damage, it certainly doesn't make life simpler, but it also doesn't guarantee failure. I still think we can get through this, and am still hopeful for a November baby. Hopefully late November.

As of now I'm 13 1/2 weeks pregnancy. I've past what I didn't know was the halfway mark with Robbie. I'm still hoping this is the end of the first third of my pregnancy, and not the first half. But as always, prayers are very greatly appreciated.

--Trish