Tuesday, July 19, 2011

18w5d

Still pregnant. Still okay, as far as I know.
Yesterday was sort of an unofficial halfway point. Since I won't be allowed to go past 37 weeks, I'm halfway to that point. THAT is weird.

I think I'm actually bigger now than I was when I delivered Robbie, even though I've still only gained 3 pounds, putting me a solid 25 below what I was when I had him. I'm in maternity clothes essentially full time. Considering I never wore them at all with Robbie, it's weird. It's sort of a love/hate thing. It's nice to not feel split in half by day's end, but I also constantly feel like they're up too far or falling down. I also can't seem to pull them up properly w/o pulling my underwear up too far. (I know you're glad I'm shared.)
Today seemed to be a day when several people made comments about the pregnancy while giving my belly the eye. A coworker actually said "Trish, the belly!?" in a sort of "where did THAT come from?" kind of way.

Movement has been hit and miss. I'll go all day feeling nothing, then feel a lot of turning (I assume) and lighter movements for a while. The long stretches make me nervous already. Actually, my anxiety level seems to have ratcheted up quite a bit in the last week.

On top of the "oh shit, my side hurts, what if it's my liver?" random freak outs, the more "normal" worries have started to set in. How will I manage two kids? What if they hate each other? What if I don't love them the same? How will I ever love someone else as much as I love Robbie? What if David's no more help this time than he was when Robbie was a baby? (We have discussed that last item, but I still worry about it.)

It's still not the overwhelming sense of impending doom type of anxiety I had pretty much my entire pregnancy with Robbie, but I'm definitely noticing myself thinking "the worst" more frequently than I'd like. Been using the Doppler a lot to ease worries about the baby.

Robbie still doesn't seem to get the concept. I've told him there is a baby in my belly several times. Last week I was wearing a nightgown with butterflies on it and he said "no mommy, no baby. Is butterfly!" When I explained that the baby was IN my belly and not ON my belly, he lifted my gown, stared at my stomach for a LONG time, then just looked at me like I'd lost my mind and just shook his head.

My anatomy scan is now set for next Friday. We won't be finding out the sex of the baby again, which seems to disappoint almost everyone. We're happy with the decision, though. I'll just be happy to get a look at all his parts and hopefully everything will be present and accounted for.

I also have to do my first GTT next week. Not exactly looking forward to that, but I'll live. I'll have another at 28 weeks. And another pee jug collection in between at 24 weeks. Essentially at 24 weeks, I become a lab rat. I'll be seen once a week at least. I know it's all worth it, but I'm dreading it, too.

Otherwise, things seem to be good. My pelvis is starting to ache quite a bit. I wish someone could explain that it doesn't need to spread, its services wont be required this time either. The heartburn is kicking my ass, but mostly is manageable with tums. I didn't have it at all with Robbie, so that took me by surprise, but it's normal, so I just go with it. I had an almost constant migraine from 12 weeks to 17, but that seems to have eased, too. Only one last week and 2 this, so hopefully that little hormone surge has passed and I can stop worrying about an impending stroke. My blood pressure cuff has certainly gotten a work out lately.

That's really about it. Things at home are great. Robbie is doing amazingly. He is 3 and sometimes I want to throttle him, but just about the time I'm ready to pull my hair out, he says or does something adorable and I fall in love with him a little more.

David's been great with him. It's so fun watching him with him. Lately their thing has been to go for a walk together in the evenings. Robbie tells him "put shoes on, go fo' a stwoll! (go for a stroll.) and off they go. They couldn't possibly be any cuter together.

All in all, life is pretty good. I know too well that things can change in a flash, so I'm trying very hard to enjoy each day as they come.

--Trish

11 comments:

cd0103 said...

Have I just missed it or are we due new Robbie pics?
Congrats on every successful day!

Nexus said...

Ack, sorry to heart about the heartburn.

I can't blame Robbie for thinking that you are crazy. People grow babies inside them!? That is some craziness.

celia said...

out of pure curiosity, since i know nothing medical and it seems like everything is going really well. Do you think the dr's would reconsider letting you go to 38 weeks or more? All the extra time to bake could help. I'm sure you already know this but i figured why not ask!

Yay for babies!

Trish said...

cd0103- you really are. I will get some up soon!

Nexus- I suppose that's true enough! *LOL*

celia- no, unfortunately not. The reason for delivering at 37 actually isn't related to the health of the pregnancy, but the condition of my uterus. I had a vertical incision C-section with Robbie. That puts me at high risk for uterine rupture. I'm not allowed to have contractions at all, and pushing the stretching of my uterus too far makes it worse, too. I really wish I COULD go farther, but I'm afraid it's not to be for me. :(

Searching said...

So glad you are at the halfway point!! I'm glad you are able to start worrying about "normal" things. How nice to be a little normal!! :)

If I were Robbie I wouldn't get it either! He prob thinks mommy is losing it. Silly, silly you! ;)

A and W mom said...

Really glad to hear things are still going well. :) You are really looking fabulous, cute belly, and it made me smile when I noticed you were wearing maternity shorts. :) Continuing to pray for everything!

Mama Spaghetti said...

I was just wondering about you since it had been a while with no news! I am so happy things are going pretty well, minus some typical - if uncomfortable - pregnancy things!

Bridie said...

Congrats on the halfway mark! As far as your anxiety about two kids...I had the same thing. Gavin had been the center of the universe for 4 1/2 years. But I can not explain how in love he was with Sam from the second he came home. I could not have asked for a better older brother for Sam.

You WILL love your new baby as much as you love Robbie. Your heart just grows and makes room. It just does.

You will love one more than the other on any given day. Accept it and realize that over time it balances out. And some days you may not particularly like either of them - to avoid this feeling, I highly recommend NOT taking them both to the store once the little one can walk. :)

Tracy said...

Yay for half way! Glad to hear things are going smoothly. Lots of prayers for you and baby. XOXXO

Mab said...

Yay for half way!!

I didn't feel any movement consistently until T was 20 weeks.

Sorry about the HB - at least you know it's HB this time? Is that good or bad? I can't decide, myself.

Lots of love to you and Robbie and baby! Looking forward to a 37 weeker!

Heather said...

Yes, we do need new Robbie pics. And I got some interesting nostalgic feelings reading your post. It reminded me of when I was pregnant with the boys and Phoebe was 8 years old. I did wonder how I could love just one child as much as Phoebe. I couldn't fathom having two more. Now I can't picture not having all three of these adorable kids. You'll think it the whole pregnancy, but once the new baby is home and everyone settles in, you'll know how it was always meant to be.