Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Brain Vomit

I was not meant for I.T.
I've been working on a project since Saturday and tonight managed to get frustrated enough that I was pounding my fists.
I actually have a Computer Information Science associates degree. Thank goodness I didn't make that a career. I'd have done harm to someone or something by now.


Robbie finally cut some molars. Man was I happy to see those suckers come through. I've been able to feel the exact outline of them since early January. Friday I felt one, today I felt another. I can still feel the bottom two coming as well, but so far they're hiding. I wish they'd just all come on through. Those molars are hell. Mother Nature has a sick sense of humor with that teething bit.


I added a shit ton of photos to Robbie's blog.
I think I get bonus points because I uploaded in spite of the fact that it slowed down the FTPing of files I was doing for the project mentioned above.


Thanks for the support and suggestions on my last post.
To the poster who asked about therapy (and no worries, I wasn't offended!: Yes, I have considered therapy a number of times. I feel like I still have a lot of issues to work through regarding Robbie's birth and subsequent health issues. I definitely have a touch of PTSD which rears up occasionally as well. The trouble is the I work full time 9:30-6, which makes scheduling a session difficult. Even if I could find someone in the evenings, we don't have a baby sitter for Robbie. One of the troubles with having a child with special needs is that not just any one can watch him. They have to learn about the G-tube, how to use the pump, etc etc. For now, it's just not logistically possible. I do wish it were, though.


My mother in law visited last weekend. I worked very hard on letting the past go and just trying to enjoy the extra set of hands. But she started in AGAIN with the shoving a sippy cup in his face 24/7. I was very gentle and nice (uncharacteristically so) when I told her to please stop. She didn't respond except for a small grunt, but she did lay off for a few hours. But Sunday she was back at it again.

It's not enough that the cup be sitting on his tray in front of him. She wants to put it in his mouth all the time. Even if she were offering him something he wanted, as frequently as she does it, it's just annoying. I mean, I really like cupcakes, but if someone asked me 60 times a day if I was sure I didn't want a cupcake while trying to physically put one in my mouth, I'd probably slug them. It exhausts ME, so I'm sure Robbie was sick of it. He handled it pretty well, just consistently pushing the cup away and turning his head (at least he didn't cry this time) and I just kept distracting every one.

In a not-so-small WIN, David agreed that his mother is completely out of line. When I asked why he doesn't say something to her, he seemed genuinely surprised at the question. Then finally said "I don't know. I should. I will now that you've said something." Gee, we've only been together for 8 years (4th wedding anniversary is next week!) and he finally sees he should be supportive of his wife (or maybe just defensive of his son. Whatever, I'll take it!)


It's 3:15 a.m. I have to be up at 7:30. I think the reason computer geeks are geeks is because they don't sleep enough.




Mrs.Spit said...

Sending hugs.

Ask if anyone in the daycare room wants to babysit at night since they already know the drill. Alternatively, ask your local nursing home. They might have experience with g-tubes.

BabyKevinMom said...

"Gee, we've only been together for 8 years (4th wedding anniversary is next week!) and he finally sees he should be supportive of his wife (or maybe just defensive of his son. Whatever, I'll take it!)"

LOL I am only laughing because I can totally I've been married two years. Does this mean I have two more years to go? We have been together for 8 years though so maybe there is no hope for me. Oh well congrats on his breakthrough! I'm jealous but happy for you!

Anonymous said...

I think alot of us have some PTSD going on, I know I do. How could we not after the experiences we have gone through. Hugs.

Mary said...

I know all about overbearing relatives who refuse to accept or understand a child with feeding issues.AAARRGGGHHH, frustrating when they ignorantly think they can just force them to eat or drink. Mother in law definitely needs a talking to.

shawna said...

I was just reading that your insurance doesn't pay for the smaller feeding bags. Do you have a Zevex? We have accumulated a ton of bags because our insurance pays for 1 a day, and we spend quite alot of time in the hospital. My husband would love for me to get rid of some of these. I could easily spare a case, maybe 2.
Just let me know.

Shazz said...

Hi new time reader. Just wanted to pop in and say hi from one preemie mum to another. Mine was born at 25w and is a IVF baby.

Will be following if that's ok :-)

Azaera said...

In laws give me a headache. We just got approved for respite for Sky which means either they can provide a person and train them and pay them to babysit for us (8 hours a month to start with) whenever we want. Or we can choose the person and they pay for the training and wage. I wonder if you have anything like that available to you? I'm not sure because I live in Canada.