Thus begins the two week wait

The IUI was done yesterday.

I wish I could say it went well.
It didn't.

The worst of it was that his count was horrible. Post-wash was 3-4 million. The minimum they will usually even do an IUI with is 5 million. 20 million is ideal.
The last IUI he had 28 million. The one that got us pregnant.

It's not impossible. And my doctor (who I liked, btw) did offer me a story about feeling guilty about an IUI she performed with only 1 million. "She has a 9 month old baby and is pregnant again on her own." But we all know that's way against the odds.

The other thing was that it hurt really, really badly. REALLY BADLY. Way more than the first time.

When she put the catheter in- WHAM! PAIN! Then the sperm. WHAM! MORE PAIN!
Then she pulled everything out and WHAM! MORE PAIN!
She then put a cap on my cervix (that was new) which wasn't so grand either. Basically something hard and scratchy in my vagina. Yeah. Fun stuff.

Then as I am getting up from the table and double over in pain and I say to David "It really hurts." he says "but it's all worth it if we make a baby."

I snapped back, "Easy for you to say, you got to have an orgasm. I'm the one in pain."

I hurt his feelings. I apologized after we got home and his response was "We'll talk about it later." Which hurt my feelings.

I went to dinner with a friend who also had an IUI yesterday. Hers actually went worse than mine. Their sperm count was good, but they actually bent the catheter in her cervix. Poor thing.

When I got home, we talked. He told me he owed me. I asked what I was owed for. He said it was because he got to have an orgasm and I had to be in pain. Then I felt worse. But I'll still take a massage. ;)

Now we're praying.

I was pretty emotional yesterday. Between a couple of days of pretty severe insomnia (coupled with horrid night sweats) and a really trying day, I was crying about twice an hour.

Today I feel a little better. I'm still cramping every now and then and if anything jiggles my girlie parts, it doesn't feel so great, but physically I'm pretty good. Emotionally I'm mostly okay with bouts of sadness. I'm really scared it didn't work, but I'm also okay. I dread having to do this again but I'm prepared to deal with what we're handed.

I've prayed about it. And when I start to feel anxiety, I pray some more. If anyone out there feels like praying with me, I'd love some company.


-- Trish