Lumpless

Lumpy Lefty is now Lumpless Leftie.

All in all, it went as well is possibly could have.

I had a breakdown Monday night and cried out most of my fear. David was supportive, even though he threw in that "I have faith in you" thing that really stresses me out. He doesn't get why that isn't helpful. But he held me and comforted me and was a good husband. I felt a bit better after my cry.

This morning, I was awake before the alarm and more in "get it done" mode so I didn't think too much. We got to the hospital and registered. Everyone was very kind.

They offered to do a Doppler check before and after surgery w/o being asked. I told everyone who came in that I needed to speak to anesthesia because I wanted to go with just a local. Everyone was quite nice about my concerns. They made me take a pregnancy test, which amused both me and the nurse who had to do it. Though after reading this story, I suppose it was reasonable. My IV went in w/o a hitch. As I'm not an easy stick, I was extremely impressed. I actually asked out loud "You're done?" because I actually didn't believe it was that quick, or that painless.

The only person I had any trouble with all day was actually the only man I spoke to all day. That's not sexism, just a coincidence. He was from anesthesia. He came and told me they'd give me something "to relax" me. I said "I'm pregnant. I don't want that." He insisted it was low dose. I insisted I didn't want it. I never really got to the point of being outright bitchy, but the conversation ended with an uncomfortable silence and him walking away.

In the end, I got my way. No sedation at all. He wasn't part of the anesthesiolgists in the room with me, fortunately. My surgeon was completely on board with my wishes, thankfully.

The surgery itself went very well. Being awake was actually pretty cool. I should mention that I'm not remotely squeamish and do have a fairly decent pain tolerance. I'm not sure I'd recommend it for everyone, but I'm very happy with the choice I made.

All of the women in the room with me were wonderful. They talked to me the whole time, even offering to hold my hand. They basically got me ready for a MAC (basically- sleepy time) but it was to only be used if I couldn't handle the local. They cleaned up my left boob. That was amusing. I had betadine essentially from my belly button to my chin, down my left arm and over to my right boob. The worst part was that it was freezing in there. Why are operating rooms kept at 60? I commented to the staff that I didn't know how THEY weren't freezing (as they were piling warm blankets on me) and one of them replied "Well, we're not exposed, you have it worse." I told them if they all wanted to whip out their left boobs to feel my pain, they could feel free.

They told me the numbing shots would be the worst part. Honestly, I barely felt them. Then she got started. I could feel her working, but mostly just my boob moving. There was a drape over my head, so I couldn't see anything. It seriously couldn't have been 5 minutes before she said "Well, it's out. It was a nothing. A blobby thing. A fatty cyst." Relief!

At that point, I started to feel a little something, but before I could really sort through the thought, it BURNED. Right away, I spoke up. She stopped and numbed me up again. From there, everything was fine. I just started to feel a little something again right at the end but I knew we were essentially done, so I just let it go.

Then I was wheeled back to recovery. On the way back, the doctor explained that fatty tissue doesn't show up on the scans, so that's why they couldn't see it. It'll be sent to pathology to make sure, but she's not concerned.

Since I didn't really need to recover, I spent less than 10 minutes in the initial recovery room, then they took me back downstairs to "my" room.

They brought me apple juice & chocolate pudding and let me get dressed. We waited for someone to come down from L&D to listen to the baby again, and once that was done, we were on our way.

We stopped and had lunch on the way home.

Honestly, I feel pretty good.

My boob is encased in a weird styrofoam sticker thing. When the numbing stuff wore off, it burned a little, but overall, it feels fine. I wouldn't want to get whacked in the boob, and the hubby got a sideways hug before bed, but honestly, I'm fine. I even made cupcakes for a bake sale at work.

I'm so glad I went with the local.

I'm definitely relieved. I'm glad it's over and can go back to my usual pregnancy obsessing instead of adding surgery & breast cancer fear obsessing to it.

Thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes. They paid off.

--Trish