Today was a weight check with the pediatrician. He should have been at least 8lb, preferably closer to 9.
7 pound 7 ounces is all we've got.
Overall, our doctor was pretty positive. That's her nature. She said his physical exam is great. His development is right on track.
Eating sucks. He should be eating about 3oz every 3 hours. I'm lucky to get 2 into him.
Now we go back to adding formula to every bottle.
And we up his meds again.
All of that was doable and I was okay until I looked at the sheet you take to the check out.
She had circled under diagnosis "Failure To Thrive."
Just what every mom longs to hear. Your kid is not thriving.
I feel like a failure.
I know in my head that I'm doing everything I can. He lives with a bottle in his mouth. Monday he literally ate 12 times. When you consider at least 30 minutes per feeding(and realistically- 45 minutes to an hour), that's at least 6 hours a day of feeding him. I keep him at an incline. When he is in pain and refuses to eat, I've managed to figure out how to pat him and feed him at the same time so that he eats.
If he gets sick of one bottle, I'll change bottles to see if he likes a different nipple this time.
Almost every feeding is a 2 parter. He takes an ounce, gets upset. I pat him until he's calm again, give him a break, then in a half hour, he finishes the rest. This makes every feeding at least 45 minutes- sometimes as much as an hour and a half.
All I do is feed him. I know in my head that I'm doing what I can.
But my heart sees "Failure to Thrive" and I feel like I'VE failed. It's my job to protect him. It's my job to support him. It's my job to FEED HIM. It's my job to make him thrive. And he's not. I've failed.
All I can do now is pray this stupid reflux heals and he starts eating and thriving.
We're going to need another herd of moose.