It's such a stupid thing.
I have so much worse things to worry about. Bigger things to regret.
So many people have so many larger worries. They have so many greater sorrows.
Even if it had worked out, I'd probably have stopped by now, or at least, greatly reduced the amount.
Knowing all of this, why does the mere mention of breastfeeding still make me cry with sadness?
--Trish
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10 comments:
Your right! Get Over it! There are much much worse things
I feel the exact same way! But at least you could still pump to feed Robbie, my body couldn't even do that.
Stupid Mommy-guilt. (((hugs)))
I'm sorry Trish :( I was one of the "lucky" ones but I know that if I hadn't been I would feel the same way.
But what you're doing is BETTER than breast feeding. You've given up your life to continue to pump for over a year and that is amazing :)
I can understand for sure. But you truly had no say in the matter. You did (and continue to do) everything possible for Robbie. Pat yourself on the back! :-)
Oh, I think it probably hurts because it is tied up in so much. Feeding our children is a biological urge, deep within us. It is, in some sense, what we were meant to do. Think about it, is there any thing that screams motherhood more deeply than breastfeeding a baby? It is after all something only a mum can do.
And after all of Robbies challenges, and the G tube and the weight gain, yes, I can understand why there is so much tied up in this, and why it would be a real source of hurt.
I don't think hurt is about worse or better things, I don't think that hurt has to be legitmated, that we all have to vote on it. This hurts you, so it hurts your freinds.
Sending hugs.
Mrs. Spit said it perfectly.
((((Hugs)))
U don't have to "get over it". You are grieving the loss of so many things & breast feeding is one of them. Somedays it will be okay & somedays it won't. It's not called the grieving PROCESS for nothing. However, it is not a clear cut move from one step to the other. One day it's anger, next it's acceptance. Just work through your feelings, vent when you need to & don't feel you have to justify anything.
If it isn't BFing then it would be something else. I still have emense guilt over the c-section.
Well put, Mrs Spit. And yeah, I feel the same way sometimes. :(
I couldn't agree more with Meghatronsmom. You don't have to "get over it." You have to face Robbie's food issues every single day every couple of hours. No wonder you play out the 'what ifs' both because breastfeeding might have been easier for you and potentially easier for Robbie. But I also think that part of your sadness is because you have done -everything single other thing- you could do to give Robbie the very best first year you could under the circumstances so of course you regret the few little things that you could not do along the way. But your dedication and energy every single day to help him with food and sleep and therapy are incredible and you should be so proud.
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