More spotting

Yesterday was one of those days where I was miserable. My back was so sore I can't even explain it. I worked all day, and was never so glad to get home in my life. I managed to get comfortable at home and relax. By the time I went to bed I felt pretty okay.
I actually slept fairly well. I woke up a few times but only got up once to pee. I slept about 8 hours. It was the best night's sleep I've had in ages.

I woke up feeling good. I decided to take advantage of feeling decent and get some housework done. Nothing major- just a little dusting, bathrooms and laundry. Bending to scrub the tub was a little uncomfortable, but nothing major. At one point a shirt got caught on the agitator in the washing machine and I had to reach to unhook it. It hurt a little. Then there was a sock I had to reach for. My belly pulled a little. But overall, I felt okay.

Some family is in town for the weekend, we had reservations at a local Brazilian Steakhouse. On the away there (way across the city) my belly hurt a little. When I got to the restaurant, I went to go pee. Glanced down. Hmm, that almost looks pink. I tried to convinced myself it was the cheap toilet paper. But it looked like a real spot of red. So I double checked. Lots of pink. SHIT.

Of course, my heart stopped. I went back out and pulled my husband aside and told him we had to go home right after dinner because I was spotting again. Then I tried to act normal. The family wanted me to come to my dad's house after dinner. I begged off saying I didn't feel well. (True enough.) After dinner, my grandma gave me some baby blankets and a stuffed bear for the baby. Wow. Here I am praying the baby is okay and holding gifts in my hands. That was an interesting mix of emotions.

Anyway, I got home. The baby kicked a little, I listened with the Doppler. Everything seems fine. The bleeding stopped. I can only speculate that the reaching & stretching pulled something. And it's healing, I hope.

But suffice it to say that my stress level is sky high again. Against my own good sense, I googled "premature births" trying to decide when the baby can be born and be okay. Clearly not now (21w2d) but how long do we have to hold on. I just have this horrible vision of a placental abruption at some point. We just need to get to viability. Seems like the minimum for viability and a good chance at a meaningful life is right around 28 weeks. Of course I hope for another 16 (full term =37w) but maybe 7 weeks is more reasonable a short term goal.

I could use more prayers if you got 'em. I'm having a really hard time believing this is going to end with a healthy baby in my arms.

--Trish