Wednesday, October 8, 2008


Well, his stomach has definitely improved.

I kept him on a light diet most of yesterday. Or, well, I tried. He's been taking 50-55cc per feeding lately. I was trying to give him more like 45. He was having none of that. I kept having to go back to refill to appease him.

He was up all day. He had woken at 7:30 and not slept until long after we got home. Around 2, he nodded off for a bit. I woke him to eat at 4 and he went right back to sleep. Then woke again at 5 and was up until almost midnight. He'd had a few good screaming fits, but really, by the late evening, he was in a good mood, just refusing to sleep. He was clearly overstimulated. I patted, I sang, I read, I swaddled, I unswaddled, I massaged. I turned everything off and left the room. He'd sleep for a minute or two, then wake up and cry until you held him. Then he'd show you his happy face and stare at you all bright eyed.

I was a zombie.

Finally at midnight, I gave the Swaddle Me a try. And he was out like I'd drugged him. Seriously- I'd already tried swaddling, but for whatever reason, this thing worked like magic. And he slept all night. He woke to eat, of course, but he slept 4 hours, ate, slept another 4 hours, ate again, and then really dozed almost all day. He definitely needed it.

So did I. I got some sleep myself, and managed to actually do some laundry and clean up the house. Amazing.

And the leaking improved. I've changed his dressing a few times, but at this point, there's barely just a little discharge. I can still hear air squish out of it when he gets riled up, but no more clothes soaking. And it looks SO much better.

I'm still paranoid. Robbie's history has taught me not to go counting any unhatched chickens. But I'm cautiously optimistic for the time being.

I've been feeding him unfortified breast milk only. As much fresh as I can muster. I figure while he has a gaping (well, it's way less gaping now) hole in his stomach, at least the stuff leaking out of it can have antibacterial properties.

But soon I'm going to have to add formula to his diet. Not just breast milk fortified for calories, but actual formula.

My supply is complete shit. If I pump for 30 minutes and mash the crap out of my boobs, hand expressing until my skin hurts after pumping, I can eek out 40cc. As I said, he's taking more like 55 at a feeding.

Fortunately I had a ton in the freezer from when he was first born. But it's gone fast. Really fast. I'm down to 40 bottles in the freezer. Sounds like a lot, but considering I had probably 200 when he was discharged from the hospital a month ago, you can see why I'm nervous.

I'm pumping as often as humanly possible. When the choice is sleep, eat or pump- I pump. I'm drinking by the gallon. I'm even eating pretty darned well, all things considered. Sleep.. well.. I do what I can.

I'm taking Fenugreek by the handfuls.

My last hope at this point is the Domperidone that I ordered. It hasn't come in yet but I'm hoping it helps. A lot.

But int he mean time, once his tummy heals, I'm going to try giving him 2 bottles a day of half breast milk/half formula. I'm not sure how his stomach is going to handle it.
Even with the fortified breast milk twice a day, every couple of days I have to give him a break and cleanse his system a bit so he's not miserable.

He just does not tolerate formula well.
And I really don't like giving it to him. If my stupid freakin' boobs would cooperate, it wouldn't be necessary.

After such a great start, they've really dwindled.

I suspect it's hormonal, since my periods have returned. I had one at 8w post partum, another at 15 weeks, and now again at 18 weeks. I find this sign of fertility incredibly infuriating. For more reasons than I even care to get into. I'm sure you can guess.

So, keep praying for hole-healing, and weight gain. And maybe we can throw a cow on the spit next to all the moose. We need more milk.


Oh yeah.. A few PICTURES!!!!

Not quite sure what those lights are...

But I think I like 'em...

My new playmat

Just checkin' it out

I wonder how it tastes?

Sure makes a nice place to sleep!


Heather said...

Thanks for sharing the pics! Robbie is such a cutie. I can tell you want to hang in there on the breastfeeding thing. I'm sure things will get better. I just hope for your sake it's soon. (((Hugs)))

Mrs Little Fisch said...

Hi! I don't think I've ever left you a comment before, but I've been reading since around the time Robbie was born. I just wanted to say how incredibly impressed I am by you. You've had such a hard time, and shown such courage and strength. I really wish you three the very best. It's been great to see Robbie go from strength to strength - he looks so lovely in the latest pictures! Sending you *milky* vibes from Italy ...

All the best,
Mrs F

Anonymous said...

Hey Trish
I had a very stressful time while nursing and my supply went to crap so I got bigger breast shields, the biggest, have you tried that? My supply never went back to where it was in the beginning but it did really improve with the shields and fenugreek and doing my best to not freak out constantly. Also,I have a friend who could not nurse and her babe could only tolerate one formula-Nutramagin(spelling) just putting it out there. I really hope your babe keeps up with the eat and sleep routine.

Kim said...

He is just the CUTEST ever. Hang in there guys.

Me said...

Glad his tummy is healing and I hope the magical properties of the Swaddle Me continue!

Elizabeth said...

Robbie Pics Yea!!!! Love the expression in the second one.

I hope the milk supply at least stays where it is - but sure wish it would improve for you. Formula is not evil, but if he doesn't tolerate it well... what can you do?

Glad to hear the swaddle me finally helped too.

Fertilized said...

WHat a total cutei pie!

I wish you lots of luck withhte feeding, sleeping, pumping issue. I was driving myself insane ..I had choices like eat/sleep or pump and for a long time I chose pump .. but that was not a very wise decision for me. MT has been on 1/2 and 1/2 for some time now. I just wanted you to know thatyou are in my thoughts and prayers. There are LOADS of different formulas out there to try if you need to. Your dr's can help you determine which ones to try - You do what you need to do to make this a pleasent experience for you

Chili said...

Those pictures are so precious! Especially the last one. So cute!

I'm glad to hear he's doing better, and I hope you can straighten out the milk issues. My lactation consultant recommended Blessed Thistle in addition to Fenugreek - for some reason it makes the Fenugreek work better.

Two Hands said...

You know, those pics of Robbie are like sunshine. Thanks for posting them.
I'm glad the button is closing over. I'm sure it will be no small relief to either of you to have it gone for good. And I'm very glad that he slept allowing you to catch a few Z's too.

Carrie M. said...

Awwwh, he looks so cute and cuddley.

Kristin (kekis) said...

Improvement is good! Getting some sleep is good! Milk depletion is bad. Have you tried dark beer? One a day can really increase your supply. If you don't like beer, then I don't know . . .

Robbie looks GREAT. Such a big, healthy, growing boy! I know it's hard, but you are doing an amazing job, Trish. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Trish-Robbie is a Doll he is so handsome. Hang in there with the brestfeeding. Don't get to discouraged at least he is getting some. (which is better than none!)
It seems like you are getting alot of advise I agree with having your Dr's help...just keep staying relaxed as much as possible and strong. My experience with the brestfeeding and formula was also where my son didn't do well with the formula either so I made it more like the consistacy of the breastmilk and that seemed to help!
Keep hugging and kissing on that little Prince Robbie and Good Luck!

Amy said...

Awww those pictures are darling!!
Yay for the Swaddle Me! Hope he continues the trend of sleeping more, and I'll be praying for your boobs!

MightySpork said...

I love that second photo of him.

Seeing him in that giant baby chair thingie, you really get an idea of how tiny he still is.