more prayers, please

Well, apparently it wasn't just my liver.
The peri lab called today and the doctor was also concerned about the level of protein in my urine. It was 279.

At my 12 week baseline check, it was 220, but apparently they didn't have record of that in my chart, so the last he knew was that it was 140 pre-pregnancy, so that was a fairly large jump. Either way, 279 is definitely higher than it should be. (Normal being <150.)

They want me to come in on Tuesday and have my BP checked and repeat all the labs again.

That was enough information to put me into a tailspin. As nervous as I was about the liver enzyme yesterday, having 2 things more out of whack than they should be was more than I could take. I called David to tell him the news and pretty much lost it on the phone.

David was great. Honestly, he took it a lot better than I expected. He reassured me that we will handle anything that is thrown at us, he doesn't want to see the NICU again, but we will do whatever we have to. I told him I was sorry my body was letting us down again and he shushed me saying there's no way to know what causes this, it could well be his genes at play, too. He reminded me that we married for better or worse and sometimes life throws "worse" at us. It was really what I needed to hear.

I still spent a good deal of the day crying and then telling myself to knock it the eff off. Neither of these lab values are horrifying. It's the trend that matters. My BP was still good today (115/60 in the afternoon, 120/80 this evening. Both quite good particularly considering the emotional mess I was all day.) I have an OB appointment tomorrow and I'm sure we'll discuss it in details tomorrow.

I'm 9 days from the point that I delivered Robbie. In looking back, my first sign of trouble with him happened at 25w1d. My feet swelled suddenly. I hadn't had any swelling at all up until that point. It wasn't even very severe. I actually thought it was kind of cute. Oh look- a pregnancy symptom. It improved over the weekend as I kept my feet up and hydrated. It was at 25w4d that the epigastic pain started. I was admitted to the hospital at 26 weeks exactly and he came at 26w2d. I'm really hoping that history does not repeat itself.

Normally, when preeclampsia reoccurs, it happens letters and less severely. So even if this IS the beginning of bad stuff, the hope is that it develops at a snail's pace and we can go a LOT longer. I really had my heart set on 37 weeks. I kept feeling strongly that the baby would come in November. Even if it was November 1, that would be almost 34 weeks. Any parent of a 33 weeker would tell you that's still too damned early, but as I sit here an hour shy of 25 weeks, 33 weeks is sounding pretty hopeful.

What I'm pleading for us prayers. Let my labs show improvement next week. At the very least, no decline. Pray for healthy kidneys & a healthy liver, for continued good blood pressure and health for my baby Chello.

She's been very active today and I've loved it. I love her so incredibly much already. The thought of her suffering through the NICU the way that Robbie did (or worse) devastates me. As I told David today, I just need our baby to be okay.

--Trish