Monday, September 3, 2007

Waiting Game

I am apparently entering a new stage in our battle with infertility.
The point where people who started TTC when we did are now TTC their 2nds.
It's not an entirely great feeling, I must say.
It's another of those moments where I want to stomp my feet and say "NO NO NO, You're not allowed to have another baby until I have one!" Completely irrational, but the urge I have, nonetheless.
I"m sure it will eventually get easier, just as all the first crappy things did.

In other news, I had my post D&C appointment last Wednesday. Everything was good. I was actually ovulating. she couldn't quite tell if I'd already Ovulated or would that day, but there was a nice big follie on my left ovary. I wasn't entirely surprised as I'd had a ton of EWCM & accompanying pains on my left side.

The lining of my uterus looked good, triple stripe and all that. She described it as "beautiful." (To which I replied "Well, my uterus thinks you're pretty cute, too.)My lady bits seem to get lots of compliments. Too bad that apparently means diddly.

Anyway, they did another beta, which came back below 5, which is, of course, good news.

Dr. M said everything looked good but that my uterus looks a little wide which could indicate a septum. She definitely wants to do the saline sonohysterogram.

The pathology and cytocryology reports were back. Pathology showed products of conception and the presence of villa something-or-other that is usually associated with a chromosomal abnormality. Cytocryology failed. So no real answers, but likely a chromosome issue, which is, overall, good news. That's bad luck which had to surely run out eventually. Theoretically.

So at this point I'm just waiting for my period. We've not been preventing this month, but we all know the chances of me getting pregnant w/o drugs and IUI are pretty much nil.

The u/s tech had asked if I'd had any trouble since the D&C and I explained I had some spotting after intercourse the night before. When she saw my follie she said "Oh, last night was a good time to have had sex!" which sort of embarrassed me, but was funny, too.

Dr. M pretty much told us we should probably wait a month to try again but said it in such a half-hearted manner, that it didn't seem like a big deal.

My old doc saw me in the hallway and said howdy, then came to find me before I left and asked how I was. I nearly started bawling right there. She has such a motherly way about her. I answered the standard "You know, hanging in there. What can we do but try again?" and she gave me the look that said "Don't feed be bullshit." and said "Yes, but how ARE you?" Fortunately the receptionist handed me my receipt just then and I was able to turn away before I completely lost it.

It was a reminder that I really do want to switch back to her. I have no problems with Dr. M at all, but Dr. Keller.. well, she's set the bar awfully high. I just don't know when to do it. Or how, for that matter.

The nurse (for both of them) told a friend that I should switch simply because Dr. K is in the office 4 days a week vs Dr. M who is more like 1 or 2. So I think I'll pick her brain next time I talk to her and see what to do.

Anyway, nothing major. Just wanted to give an update.

When my period starts, I schedule the water-balloon-ute exam, then we go from there. Come on AF.

-- Trish


Fertilize Me said...

Come on AF !! Get a move on. I did the saline test. There was no pain involved in mine. i hope the same for you

T-girl said...

Don't feel bad about grieving, sometimes it is the best way to let our emotions out.
Big hug!!!

How was the spa???

Trish said...

T-Girl, haven't been yet. Since the GC was SO generous, I'm getting several things done (Massage, facial, pedicure) and they couldn't get me in for all of that until the beginning of October. My b-day is the 1st, so I'll think of it as a b-day gift.

Schatzi said...

Oh yes, come on AF! sounds like you really like Dr. K. Hopefully there aren't any problems if you decide to change. For me, I know it really helps that I have found a RE that I feel actually cares about me as a person instead of just another failed cycle.

As for your friends having #2. I get that. Oh, do I get that.


The Bugala's said...

First..I'm jealous of your GC spa experience but you definitely deserve it!!

Second..did you ever think years ago, you would be praying for AF as well as having people you haven't ever met be praying for your AF??

Third...ok so I really don't have a third except to say HUGS...and hoping AF visits you sooner then me. :)

Diana said...

come on AF, we need to get this rolling!

Changing Expectations said...

Come on AF! Where are you already?

Kristen said...

I hate being lapped. SIL is working on #3, her second since we have been TTC. And I just know she'll probably have hers before I get there with #1.

I'm glad to hear you are Oing. I hope you can move on easily and there is no septum in there.

I'm happy you got a possible answer but I know it doesn't take the pain away. I'm thinking of you and wish AF a speedy visit so you can get back in the game.

Marz said...

Good luck & I know a few people who got pg right after their D&c
BTW, I, too, have a septum in my uterus. Good luck with that too.

Sunny said...

Lapping SUCKS! I have been lapped MANY TIMES! It never feels good.

Come on AF!!!

Katie said...

Just found your blog for the first time and read back through. I am so sorry for all that you have been through so far. I hope now to read along as you experience the happiness you so deserve.

Kierstin said...

I have always believed that the ONE good thing that has come out of my IF journey is the friends that I have made through it. I do not think I would have made it w/o them.

I am too jealous of your spa package! But no one deserves it more then you!! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!