Tuesday, April 24, 2007

CD12 & counting

It's been an emotional week.
My friend does have MS. That's probably the biggest lingering bummer of the week. I wish I could be with her.

Two more friends are pregnant. One of them is a girl in my office that I actually went to high school with. She's 3 months. I saw it coming.

She actually had a miscarriage a few years ago and has a son who is almost 4, I think. Right after I miscarried she informed me that they were trying for #2. She didn't know I had been pregnant or anything. She asked the inevitable "So when are you guys going to have one?!" and it all came spilling out.
She came the first month and said "Well, it didn't work the first try." and I hadn't heard anything since. So I figured she was pregnant and just waiting a while to tell people.
I was right.

I wish I could say I was super excited for her. I'm happy for her, but honestly, my first reaction was "It figures."

I almost feel like the universe is just toying with me. "Look at all the people who can get pregnant before you!"

The saddest news of the week is that another friend miscarried. I have to say, when I heard the news, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I got that bolt-of-lightning thing where my hands and feet tingled for a while afterward. Then I got angry. Really angry. WHY?
That's all I could think. WHY?

I had to remind myself that it isn't mine to know, but God's. But sometimes.. I just can't help but want to scream and kick things.

I'm still waiting to ovulate. I'm really thinking Thursday is going to be the day. Which is going to be a pain in the ass because David has baseball tickets on Thursday and we're going to have to pray to get in early to the doctor. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

In other news, (some good news for once) I found out that Dr. Keller (my old R.E. who I adore) is changing offices and is coming back to the office where I have had to move because of my insurance.

A friend of mine who sees her where she is now told me yesterday. I was very excited to hear the news. She won't be switching back until July 1st and I hope to be long pregnant by then, but if I'm not, I'm very relieved to have my favorite doctor back.

Just after the miscarriage when I was between doctors and trying to get the insurance straightened out, Dr. Keller called to let me know what she was doing with some paperwork. I told her that I was officially done at her office and I actually started to cry. She made me promise to let her know how things go and told me that she knows I'll have a baby soon. (Shoot.. I'm tearing up just typing about it.) I told her I'd send baby pictures. She's really a great doctor with an incredible bedside manner. I can't say enough good things about her.

Anyway, that's about it for me. Just checking in.

CD12 & counting.

-- Trish

1 comment:

Amy said...

I can definitely understand how good it feels to have a doctor you like!!

This post was very touching. And sad. :(

I love you! And I love that Dr. Keller said that. :)