Addiction

One of my favorite IF blogs is Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace jesters.
Anyone looking for a good read and usually a good laugh should check it out.

I mention this, not because I'm a suck up, but because tonight I was thinking about their videos and how a great one would be a Clomid PSA. It really is the ultimate gateway drug.

A year ago we were merrily trying to make a baby by (gasp!) having sex. I had hit the point where I was starting to realize things weren't quite right, but weren't quite wrong yet. Temps didn't spike, ovulation strips didn't darken, but you know, maybe I'm just doing it wrong. Of course, I'm a worrier by nature, so the thought of infertility had crossed my mind. I am a former Depo user, and I know the horror stories. I also have a few friends who needed Clomid to get pregnant. I thought a little ovulation boost would be alright. But definitely not IVF. All those hormones? All that money? Giving myself shots? Nah. I'd rather adopt.

Of course, that all changed a few short months later when I heard words like "low progesterone", "poor ovulation," "low sperm count," and a big one, "mandatory infertility coverage." (Thank you, state of Illinois!)

But it started slowly. First was Clomid. What's the big deal about 5 little pills? I mean, what the hell?

Then came IUI. That sucks. But you know, not much worse than a Pap Smear. Right?

Then more pills. Well, I'm already taking Clomid. What's 4000mg of folic acid, a baby aspirin, a multivitamin, 4 metformin and an occasional mucinex going to hurt?

Today was the next thing. A shot. To myself. In the stomach. What's one little shot, right? I mean, I'm fat. What good is all this cushioning if not to have a nice soft spot for a needle.

Clomid. The Gateway drug.


Now. What's all this about needles you're asking?
Here's the deal. It's CD13. (For the record, it's 2:37 Monday night. I'm still counting this as Monday.) Time for my first official follicle scan. I was fairly excited about it because I like to think I know my body so well, and I'm always intrigued to see if I'm right.

My left ovary has been hurting like hell. A few little twinges on the right, but mainly, the left. Well, I'm not crazy. Well, I might be crazy, but this isn't an example. The ultrasounds first words when getting a good look at ol' leftie was "Wow! You've got a HUGE one on the left side." Turns out I had 2 good ones there. A 22mm and a 29mm. Three small ones (less than 10mm) on the right.

The original plan was to have a follicle scan, a trigger shot and IUI. It's a long story, but after a great deal of confusion, a small episode of "bitchy Trish," a drive across the city and several phone calls later, I had an Ovidrel shot and an ice pack. And a plan for a shot.

A side note - the pharmacy was awesome. Not cause of the pharmacy itself but because it's a pharmacy specifically for IF drugs. The only one in the city, apparently. The cool thing is that it's in an office building and very small. The lobby was just a small room with 3 chairs. All of which were filled with infertiles. While we were waiting for our script, the other 3 women started discussing who was doing what. IUI? Clomid? Follistim? Yep. A random conversation that was music to my ears. My peeps! No idle small talk about babies and due dates and potty training. Shots in the belly all the way! David actually laughed at me because I was positively giddy when we walked out. And I wasn't even in the conversation.


So tonight at 8:30 (well, maybe closer to 9 cause I had to work up some nerve) I officially gave myself a shot in the tummy. In the bathroom at work, no less. It only occurred to me after I'd worked up the nerve to try to do the thing and walk to the bathroom that I had no alcohol to sterilize my injection site. A quick trip back to the office netted me a coworker's bottle of Purell hand sanitizer. Desperate times and all that.

It didn't hurt that bad, really. I mean, it wasn't great, but about the time I thought "OUCH" it was over.

In the interest of science (and not remotely because of a small stick peeing obsession. Really. I swear.) I peed on an OPK when I got home. Gave myself the injection a few minutes before 9. Peed on the OPK a little after 10:30. Still negative. So it takes more than an hour and a half to make its way to my pee. I'll try again when I get up tomorrow and see what happens.

We IUI Wednesday morning. Arrive at 7:30 for the hubby to provide his specimen, with the insemination expected about 8:30. You can start praying any time now.


--Trish