16w6d: Boob & Baby

I saw the breast surgeon today.
The appointment was so-so. I was the first appointment of the day and still had to wait almost an hour. Apparently she was stuck at the hospital. Fortunately my nurse was really sweet.
The doctor finally came in, asked me why I was there, then did a complete breast exam. She finished and basically said "Well, we need to remove it." Surgery. I was really hoping they could aspirate it, but she said because it doesn't show on the ultrasound, that isn't an option.

They're supposed to call tomorrow to schedule. From there I'll talk to anesthesia about what I can have. She said they normally do twilight and she thinks there is something safe for the baby, but if all else failed, they could do a local with no risk to the baby. I told her I'd rather be in pain than affect the baby. She said she'd make me be in pain before she'd risk the baby, so that's something.

She was pleasant enough but seemed rushed. I'm guessing because she was so late. I got all my questions answered, though, so it was fine. She doesn't think it's serious- probably a fibroid adenoma. But normally that would show on an u/s so she doesn't know for sure. She just wants it gone now because either leaving it or doing a surgery later gets complicated with milk issues.

So that's that. It's coming out. I feel mixed about it. I'm glad it's going, but I worry about the surgery affecting the baby.

In other news, I've had a bit more spotting. Not exactly earth-shattering, I know. But I've been SO anxious the last few days and it just wasn't what I needed.

The dizzy spells on Sunday, the migraine the last two days, the lack of pregnancy symptoms and then the last 2 days the baby has been SUPER low when I listen with the Doppler. I mean, the microphone was literally butted up against my pelvic bone to hear the heartbeat. That has me thinking all sorts of crazy things. I did a poll on my success after a loss message board and got a lot of reassurances, but I'm SO paranoid. All of those things have combined to just make me a wreck. (Oh, and I won't even get into the dream about going into labor at 20 weeks.)

I think I've decided it's not just normal anxiety. I think my anxiety disorder is in full force. I've been to the point of trembling hands, nervous stomach and extreme cold (which I get when I'm FREAKED) the last 2 days.

So I called the doctor. The message I left was that I'd had more spotting, and some cramping. Nothing worse than it's been, and not at the same time, but that I'm extremely anxious and could really use some reassurance and/or advice.

When the nurse called me back, as soon as she introduced herself I said "Do you think I'm nuts? I'm so sorry." She was so sweet. She didn't make me feel stupid at all. She talked to me for a few minutes and the conclusion was that I was to go home, put my feet up, drink lots of fluids and try to chill out. And I'm to go in tomorrow at 11 for an u/s and to see the doctor. If everything looks okay then, I just have to accept that I'm one of those women who is going to spot my entire pregnancy. Lucky me.

Just her calling helped me a lot. I did come home and stayed in bed all day. I watched a couple of movies, took a nap and played on the laptop. My nerves are a lot better. I'm worried about tomorrow a little, but I'm looking forward to being able to address some of my concerns/questions. I'm just going to lay it on the line about how batshit crazy I've been feeling. We'll see what they have to say.

If you're in the praying mood, pray for good news tomorrow and for calm for my nerves.


--Trish


P.S. There was a question about root beer from my previous blog. For anyone interested, Barq's root beer is caffeinated.