The baby is fine.
The doctor was kind. I'm very glad that I made the OB change when I did.
I started with the ultrasound. The baby was moving a bit. She said the heart rate was around 135, which is significantly lower than what I normally find, but the doctor insists it's fine to fluctuate that much. Amniotic fluid is good. Placenta is high and well attached. I asked how the baby was laying - head up, face forward.
I then saw the doctor. I ended up bawling that I feel like a fruit loop. She checked my cervix. She said it's very, very thick and tightly closed. Everything looks fine. She encouraged me to take some Lexapro. I refused. If I weren't pregnant and feeling this nutty, I'd do it in a minute. But I'm not willing to risk the baby. She offered me a referral to a counselor, which I took.
I asked about 100 paranoid questions. How to tell if my fluid was leaking, if I had a placental abruption, preterm labor etc. She answered them all, but added that there is nothing I can do to keep any of those things from happening if they're going to. I told her that I understand that, but I'm looking for ways to reason with myself when I'm paranoid.
I spent most of the afternoon feeling better, though there is a bit of anxiety creeping in again tonight. I know it's not rational so I'm trying to keep myself distracted. But so far, so good.