I am so sick of spotting.
I was hoping it had stopped. I hadn't seen anything in 9 days. I got hopeful. You'd think I'd know better by now.
We're on vacation in Myrtle Beach. Granted, the last 2 days we've done a lot of walking around (and practically running through an airport because it seems to be the only way my husband can get through an airport - despite my insistence that we had more than an hour to go 20 gates), we played mini-golf on a course that involved lots of steps. I've had to lift my suitcase (weighed at the airport at 44 lbs) a couple of times. None of this is advisable. But it's also nothing that a NORMAL pregnant woman shouldn't be able to do.
I just went to the bathroom, did my check- nothing. Then actually went and wiped and glanced down- lo & behold- bright pink on the paper. Just a few little spots. I freak out (of course) and check again- nothing. Check again, hold the paper- nothing.
I come out of the bathroom and look aghast. David looks at me funny. I said "I'm spotting again."
Fortunately I packed the Doppler. 164 beats per minutes. I heard a kick or two in there as well. The baby even had the decency to move closer to the microphone just as I started counting. Nice and loud.
But WHY DOES MY BODY KEEP FREAKING ME OUT?
AND WHY CAN'T THEY TELL ME?
I'm 15 weeks pregnant today, enjoying a vacation in one of our favorite places with my very favorite person in the world, less than a week from our second anniversary and here I am, terrified again.
I'M SO SICK OF IT! I just want to enjoy my pregnancy. I just want to feel safe. I just want to be a mom, damn it.