Monday, March 10, 2008


I've done some housekeeping on the blog.

I added a ticker of sorts. I feel no small amount of anxiety about it. I can't exactly explain why. I have tickers on a couple of message boards I play on. I was anxious when I put those up, too. Maybe it's the dread of having to take them down if something bad happens. All I know is that I really wish I could grab the Doppler and have a listen right now. The husband is sleeping and it's both loud & abrasive when searching, so I will wait until tomorrow.

I also moved a whole bunch of people from "In The Trenches" to "Life after IF/Loss." Those are moves I enjoy making. And there are three or four more pregnant bloggers that I'm waiting until the 2nd trimester. Not because it doesn't count, but I just know how nervous it made me when people put me on the expectant/success lists.

In addition, I added a bunch of blogs to the the Trenches list. I wish there weren't so many. My IF specializing acupuncturist once told me "I'd love to be out of a job. I'd treat headaches." I'd love for the trenches to empty. Damn infertility. And fuck miscarriage.

I updated the tagline under my title. I removed "newlywed" and added "pregnant." Our 2nd wedding anniversary is next week. And however nervous it makes me to say it out loud, I am expecting. There it is. If I have to undo that, it's going to seriously piss me off. But it's there. For now.

In other news, Tuesday was EDD for pregnancy #2. I kept trying to pretend I didn't know it was coming. But it keeps popping up. I'm on vacation this week and trying to ignore the calendar, but I occasionally freak out and wonder what the date is, afraid that I've missed it.

I feel sad, of course. But also anxious. The day before EDD #1, we were on our way to the hospital for D&C #2. I'd really like to make it past EDD#2 whilst still pregnant with a live baby #3. It's a milestone I didn't know I'd set, but it is on my mind. So there it is. May that history never repeat itself.



Fertilized said...

Here Here- praying history stays in the past!

Amy said...

Aww, I love your new changes! :) Well, other than the people who are now "in the trenches." And amen to the prayers that you will indeed make it past #2's due date with a still-thriving and healthy baby #3!

Freyja said...


"To history not repeating itself!"

tryingin2007 said...

your history is something of the past now. let's keep it there. currently you are pregnant and doing great! I hear ya about the ticker. that was a major step for me.

congrats on the wedding anniversary! woohoo!

Diana said...

Hugs to you in this painful week.

Janna said...

Thinking of you this week. I know the EDD are hard. Praying that baby #3 stays put!!!

casicola said...

Congrats to you both on two long years of marraige. Alot has happened and you have made it through! I love the changes to your blog. Its the first thing I noticed when i clicked to your site.

and btw..thanks for adding me to the "in the trenches"...It sucks to be here...but one day I will be on the pregnant side:)