I've done some housekeeping on the blog.
I added a ticker of sorts. I feel no small amount of anxiety about it. I can't exactly explain why. I have tickers on a couple of message boards I play on. I was anxious when I put those up, too. Maybe it's the dread of having to take them down if something bad happens. All I know is that I really wish I could grab the Doppler and have a listen right now. The husband is sleeping and it's both loud & abrasive when searching, so I will wait until tomorrow.
I also moved a whole bunch of people from "In The Trenches" to "Life after IF/Loss." Those are moves I enjoy making. And there are three or four more pregnant bloggers that I'm waiting until the 2nd trimester. Not because it doesn't count, but I just know how nervous it made me when people put me on the expectant/success lists.
In addition, I added a bunch of blogs to the the Trenches list. I wish there weren't so many. My IF specializing acupuncturist once told me "I'd love to be out of a job. I'd treat headaches." I'd love for the trenches to empty. Damn infertility. And fuck miscarriage.
I updated the tagline under my title. I removed "newlywed" and added "pregnant." Our 2nd wedding anniversary is next week. And however nervous it makes me to say it out loud, I am expecting. There it is. If I have to undo that, it's going to seriously piss me off. But it's there. For now.
In other news, Tuesday was EDD for pregnancy #2. I kept trying to pretend I didn't know it was coming. But it keeps popping up. I'm on vacation this week and trying to ignore the calendar, but I occasionally freak out and wonder what the date is, afraid that I've missed it.
I feel sad, of course. But also anxious. The day before EDD #1, we were on our way to the hospital for D&C #2. I'd really like to make it past EDD#2 whilst still pregnant with a live baby #3. It's a milestone I didn't know I'd set, but it is on my mind. So there it is. May that history never repeat itself.