Saturday, September 13, 2008


Sorry for the blog silence. Free time is quite a commodity these days.

David had to go out of town for a work conference, so my MIL came to help. That allowed me to sleep a few hours a day which was wonderful. I really almost cried when she left this morning.

David's very, very, very slowly getting the hang of taking care of Robbie. I nagged him for all the months in the hospital that he needed to learn to do things while we had the experts there to guide us along, but he just wouldn't do it. So now we muster through at home.

I'm not going to say it's been easy. I've been very resentful because he sleeps all night. Just last night he slept 10 hours in a row. I haven't slept 10 hours total in the last couple of days.

He said before he went to bed that he'd get up with Robbie, but it just didn't happen.

But this afternoon, I pretty much said "here ya go." and went to sleep for 2 hours. He managed. I know that the only way he's ever going to learn is by doing, so I'm trying really, really hard to reign in my OCD desire to just do it myself. It isn't hurting Robbie to cry for an extra 5 minutes while David figures out how to snap up a sleeper. Right?

In any case, the reflux battle continues. Ended up calling the doctor again yesterday because Robbie went back to not wanting to take his full feedings and when he tried to eat, he'd scream in pain.
This was after 2 days of adding the fortifier back to his breast milk.

I asked about maybe trying plain breast milk again or upping his dose of Pepcid and the on call pediatrician agreed.. try plain breast milk and if that doesn't help, up the Pepcid.

He's been taking more-than-full feeds of plain breast milk ever since. He's spit up a very small amount a couple of times.. so the reflux is still happening, but it doesn't seem to hurt as bad to spit up breast milk as it does to eat/spit up the fortified stuff.

Robbie not screaming is lovely. But now we go back to worrying about weight gain again. At his home health nurse visit on Thursday, he was 4lb 10oz again.
That's what he was last Saturday.

Now, granted, he had a day of refusing to eat, followed by a day of nothing but pedialyte.. and when we left the hospital on Tuesday, he was down to 4lb 8oz, so he'd gained a couple of ounce in a couple of days. But still, the trend isn't great.

He's now about 9 days adjusted age and less than 5lb. But I just don't know what else to do.

My next trick is going to be to try to give him one fortified bottle a day and see how that goes. Since it seems to take a couple of days for him to be really uncomfortable, maybe I can just sneak in a few extra calories/day. It's not much, but it's something.

Other than that, we're doing okay. I'm having the usual mom worries- is he sleeping too much? Am I interacting with him enough? What can I do to help him along? Am I good enough for him?

His heart monitor went off this morning during a feeding. Normally that wouldn't concern me too much except that there were no warning signs. Usually if that's going to happen, he swallowed wrong and he'll choke or gag or you can just feel it go down wrong.. but he was just munching away blissfully and the alarm sounded.

But I suppose that's why we have it. Thank Goodness for it.

Keep us in your thoughts. And maybe throw a moose on the spit. We need the weight again.



Robbie's jail cell crib from the peds unit:

A nurse helps me get dressed!

I love my paci!

Nom-nom-nom! Yummy Thumb!

See my heart monitor strap and my G button? I hate 'em both.

Daddy loves me!

I surrender!

I still love my paci!

Pierre try to eat me again!


Kierstin said...

Mom worries is something that will never go away. I still have it.

And sometimes on the job training is what it takes. There were/are times where I just wanted to take over from Brian when he was doing something for the kids b/c I did not do it that way. But his way works too, it is just different then mine. I had to learn to let it go or he was never going to do anything since I was always correcting him.

I was resentful of Brian last night b/c he slept through all the twins wakings last night. I would just love one night to sleep straight through. They are horrible sleepers and I always get up with them. There are times when I just kick him and say your turn b/c I am so tired of getting up.

I hope the reflux issue gets better soon. I know that is so hard on him and you.

Praying for weight gain.

Kim said...

He is just SO adorable. I'll cross all of my crossables for a good weight gain.

Oh, and if there were no warning signs.. it could have just been false. You'll have a LOT of false alarms. When they analyze the wavelengths, they'll determine what's real and what's not. If it goes off and he seems fine, check the strap to make sure it's not too loose.. and make sure the leads are under his armpits. You can also try cleaning the leads. Mia's strap tends to slide around from handling during the night, so we've had to make it a habit to check it with every diaper change.. otherwise we tend to get a lot of Brady/Apnea alarms that just aren't real.

You probably know all of that.. just trying to be helpful :O).

Two Hands said...

I can answer one question right off the bat.
You ARE good enough for him. I know you won't believe me and you'll still worry, but it's the truth.
Come on baby! Gotta pack on the pounds here.
I'm sorry you're not getting the help you should be. It's so important that you are able to get rest so that you can function. I don't know your DH, but if it was mine and he said he'd get up with the baby and didn't, the next time he said that I'd set his alarm. My husband always says the next day, "why didn't you kick me?" Have you tried that?
I wish I could come and give you a hand. If I win the lottery you may just find me on your doorstep, ready, willing and able to make sure you get your rest. Until then, kick that man of yours, if not for yourself, then for me.

Dazzling Rose said...

I hope this doesn't come off wierd, but I am so glad to see you have regular mom worries! I know it's still harder for you with his heart monitor and reflux and all the other issues surrounding premies but you deserve some regular old fashioned worries for once (if that makes sense...)

Spork Fashion said...

LOL that paci is the size of his head!!

I am VERY proud of you for letting go in favor of a few hours sleep.

Alice said...

You rock. Yup, you do!

One of the hardest lessons I've learned as a mom is to let Bubba Joe's dad take care of Bubba Joe. While he still does things differently than me, different does not mean wrong. :) And yes, 5 minutes of Robbie crying while dear hubby is learning to be a dad is A-OK! Dad is learning too!!!

As a fellow refluxer mom, have the doctors considered the possibility of a dairy allergy? Bubba Joe received one bottle a day of high-calorie formula and man did he scream and spit up something fierce. Until we stopped that bottle. And then I gave up dairy in my diet (I was pumping and bfing direct).

You are a GREAT mom and your hubby is a GREAT dad too! Being a parent takes time! (and patience)


Jennifer said...

The pictures of Robbie are just precious! It was so nice to read an upate. I am glad that David is home. Bringing home a baby is never easy. However, bringing home a preemie can definitely be a challenge. I feel for you. However, I can tell you that it does get easier... Do the best that you can and keep your head up! I am here for you anytime!

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm sorry Pierre is trying to eat Robbie! He's not supposed to be doing that- bad Canadian Moose!

Now, excuse me while I go round up a moose for the altar in the backyard. ...