Friday, September 19, 2008

Boring post

Thank you so much to everyone who was so supportive.

I hate complaining about it. Which is odd, because I'm normally such a complainer.

I think it's a bit of survivor's guilt.. I spent too long trying to conceive, watched and still watch too many friends struggle..
Then the time in the NICU.. I saw too many scary, heart-breaking things. How can I complain when I've been blessed with such a perfect baby?

I realize that there is always someone with more problems and we all have the right to complain about whatever is on our plate, but I also hate to be ungrateful.

I don't really have much to talk about today.

Robbie was very fussy and barely slept all day.

The home health nurse was out this morning. I still can't quite figure out what I think about her. She's nice enough but has a tendency to say things that just make me worry more.

The first time she visited, she told me to make sure to keep the heart monitor as long as possible because Robbie's at such high risk for SIDS.

It's not like it's not true, and it's not like I don't know that.. but I still felt like she could have maybe left that out or at least phrased it better.

Today she had a trainee with her and she was explaining everything she was doing and the results. At one point she said "His anterior fontanel is still quite open but it's not swollen or sunken so it's okay." Well.. hmm. Aren't they supposed to be open for a while??

I hate that. I don't need more shit to worry about. I have flatly refused to google "soft spots not closing." because if no one has mentioned it and it's not on the list of things to follow up on (which I've seen) and it wasn't on his medical record (again- I've seen) then it's not a problem. I'm not borrowing trouble.

In any case, there were no naps today. Even when he did sleep, it was 15 minutes here or there. He got his rotovirus vaccine yesterday and I don't think his tummy feels the greatest. I'm keeping him dosed up on mylicon and he seems a little better tonight.

The hubby made dinner which was nice. Of course, I ate it mostly cold because Robbie wouldn't settle down anywhere but in my arms. I'll be glad when the faux-Moby wrap I ordered comes in.

Oh, and speaking of ordering stuff (this whole isolation thing is leading to WAY too much shopping online) I pulled a totally moronic move.

Robbie's room is done in Dr. Seuss. I ordered a light switch plate on E-Bay. It came in today. It's adorable!
It's also a SINGLE switch plate and the light switch is a double. DOH! I've only lived in this house for 4 years and I literally didn't even think about it until I went to put the thing on. Thank Goodness it was only 10 bucks.

I'm blaming sleep deprivation.

Anyway, for some reason I don't find myself as exhausted as normal today. David asked if I was doing drugs with the dog. (David lovingly called our dog "Crackhead.") I have no explanation but I bet it catches up to me tomorrow.

For now I get to go bathe a baby. Boys are dangerous with those penises. This will actually be his 4th outfit in about 24 hours. Though the first two were the result of leaky diapers. No more Huggies for us. Pampers is the way to go. Trust me.



Geohde said...

It's funny but huggies are the only thing that WON'T leak poop everywhere with my two!

Oh, and open fontanelles at this age is NORMAL. It's so the brain can grow inside the skull and the skull can expand to fit it. Totally normal. :)


Beth said...

my little bubba also pees out of huggies - we can only use pampers!! and pampers dry are a little better for us than the swaddlers (even though the swaddlers are softer!!)

and YES, that little watering hose is very dangerous!! point it down and center for diaper changes or you will get leaks!!! and i have no advice for baths.....he is still peeing on us during bathtime!!

Nestie: ourlittlebean

Jennifer said...

So sorry to hear about the lack of rest! I totally remember those days. However, it will come! We can only use Pampers with Addie and Alex. I hated Huggies :( I hope that with David home this weekend that you can find some time to get some rest... Oh, guess what? My blog was nominated for an award, can you please visit it and check out voting for me?
Thanks Trish! I also hope that Robbie is feeling better today!

Two Hands said...

I totally with you in not letting the nurse give you more to worry about. It's fine that his fontanel is open.
I wish I could help somehow, give you some time here and there to rest or shower or whatever you wanted, I know how hard it can be to do on your own. I hope David comes through on his word and does more to help you. It totally is NOT fair for him to have a restful 10 hours of sleep while you are struggling by yourself. Whenever I complain about my DH to my Mom she says that my Dad was the same way when I was a baby. So? That doesn't make it okay. It just means that more than one man didn't step up.
The nice thing (and sometimes sad when it's something cute) is that everything is temporary and while it may be a pain in the bum, it WILL end. So take lots of pics during the good stages and put one foot in front of the other during the bad. We're pulling for you! You're doing a great job.

Heather said...

Wow! It's great to hear things being so normal for you guys!!!! I'm so happy you have your Robbie home and he's doing well!!!

Anonymous said...

Reading your post makes me feel like I'm right there with you. My hubby was great at first but now ours is older he isn't as helpful. At first I hated him for it but as more time goes on I realize the bond between our son and I are so much stronger for it. I know it sounds crazy but when he gets hurt or needs a hug he comes straight to me, and not daddy. But he does love his daddy! So brave and wonderful mommy to Robbie hang in there it will get better some time soon. As far as the pumping son never latched on so I pumped for 6 months. I used to work nights...and I had read and listened to all the lactation specialists and found the best time to pump the most milk was between 1 and 3 AM. This was usually the biggest amount of milk I would pump. The main thought I had while pumping, which seemed like a lost cause, was No matter how much I pumped was for the love of my life my SON. So Trish I hope it helps you to know there someone out here that has been thru this and does understand and supports you even though we don't know each other! Along with thinking you are and inspiration and doing great, it sounds like Robbie thinks so too. What a great little fighter! You and your little angel Robbie and your hubby David are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Trish ... we don't know each other but your blog is such an inspiration. You have a strong little fighter, that's such a angel. We had major medical issues the first year of our sons life, there are a few issues now but he is almost(well as far as the doctors say) perfect for his age. But of course no matter what, in my eyes he is perfect. Hang in there it will eventually get better.
Even though David isn't that much help...from my experience, it will make you and Robbies' bond that more special. He will come to you first, first bump, first boo boo, etc. I had the same problem but now my son and I are almost inseperable...he was our little angel too!
On the pumping part.....if you want to use this thought to help you though the rough patches....
no matter how much or little I mada, it all helps my son, and it is better than nothing. I had a real hard time pumping too, since my son was rushed to Childrens right after birth. We never got to have the first touch or any of that.... I had to pump from my hospital room and have it delivered to him by a friend. All of the nurses were very supportive. They told to me to hang in therebecause every little bit I made/pumped was for my son, and it was helping. I did find no matter where I was, or if I was sleeping or what I produce the most milk between 1 and 3 AM. I could usually pump twice as much in one sitting than as I could all day.
So good luck with this and hang in there. Your doing GREAT! Robbie thinks so too. He is getting stonger and better minute by minute and day by day because of everything you do.

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