Hospital day 2

It seems I'm here for the duration- whatever that duration may be.

My blood pressures have continued to be pretty crappy. Consistently in the 150s/~90.
The good news was that my 24 hour catch showed my protein down a bit again to 310. My OB was considering putting me on a low dose blood pressure med as long as my kidneys were looking okay to see if that could help me limp along a little longer.

Shes said that if the meds completely corrected my BP, I might be able to go home, but didn't seem like she thought that was likely. Tonight, the peri said I'm here to stay, period.

They both agree that I'm to deliver in the 36th week. She leaned towards early 36 weeks, he leaned towards later, but both warned me that I am day-to-day and we'll just have to see how it goes. If anything worsens, I deliver, period.

The day was actually fairly busy. David took the morning off and spent part of the day with me, then I had a visitor. Then a trip down to the peri center for a growth scan (baby looked great, measuring about 5lb 5oz) then back just in time to take a breastfeeding in the NICU class here on the antepartum floor. That was mostly 20 minutes of "how to assemble a pump" (a class I could have taught, obviously) and then another 2 hours of chit-chat with the other moms. My nurse had heavily encouraged me to attend more for the social aspects and because she thought the other moms would like to hear my NICU experience, so I went and was glad I did.

This evening another friend came by, and David brought my mother-in-law and Robbie up for a visit and my dad came by and we all had dinner in my room.

It was so good to see Robbie. He has handled everything fine so far. This morning he said on the phone "Mommy is in the hospital. Mommy have a baby!" and seemed to accept that. He seemed more confused that grandma, grandpa and mommy & daddy were all in this hospital with him than anything. When they left for the evening, he said "bye-bye mommy!" pretty cheerfully several times. I sobbed as soon as they walked out the door, but I was relieved he wasn't upset, too.

I don't expect I'll get to see him every day, but hopefully a few days a week, my MIL is going to bring him up after school for a little while. She's staying with him until I get home. We're incredibly fortunate she was able to do so. She does work but is taking a leave to stay with us while we need the help.

Keeping busy during the day was nice, but the quiet after everyone was gone was sort of deafening. My night nurse isn't what I would call perky. Definitely no chit-chat with her. She was pretty sour, honestly. When I asked her for my protein level and was happy it was 310 she was very quick to remind me that 310 is "STILL pre-eclamptic." I explained nicely that I was aware of that, but that's been normal for me since 26 weeks so while it's bad, it's stable and that's what I need for now. Instead of being understanding, she seemed more annoyed "well, I guess it's good we got you this far, then." So I celebrated alone. I suppose I should get used to it. Hospital bedrest isn't for the faint of heart.

I will do what I can to attend the approved activities (the word "activity" used loosely here..) during the day so that I am not sitting in bed wallowing all day. I'm focused on knowing that we're looking at 2 weeks of this and I know these two weeks are more important to the baby than to me or Robbie or David. There is no denying that the situation sucks, though.

Of course, it's the little things right now that make or break me. The maintenance man fixed my air conditioner today and I told him I was naming the baby after him. (Shh.. that might have been a lie.) David found a piece of German chocolate cake in the cafeteria that I'm hoarding for comfort eating at some point.

Beyond the obvious things (my son, my husband) that I miss, I miss my TiVo, my bed and my bathtub. My back is already killing me and I'm only 2 days into this. I'm grateful it's only a few weeks. One of the moms in the group today is 28 weeks with twins, has been here 4 weeks and is expected to be stuck here until delivery. And she has a 2yo at home. She wins the pain Olympics there for sure.

All in all, it was an emotional day, but I'm hoping to settle into a new routine soon so that the whole thing feels a little less surreal. Probably about the time this starts to feel normal, the baby will come and then our whole world will be turned upside down again. Though hopefully in a much better way.

--Trish