At least you have insurance.
At least you know you can get pregnant.
At least you weren't further along.
At least you were far enough along.
At least you were in a good hospital.
At least he was viable.
At least he's doing okay now.
All of these are things that have been said to me during our struggles with infertility, miscarriage and premature birth.
Last week, a friend lost her husband to brain cancer. He leaves behind his wife and their their 3 month old daughter.
I heard "At least he's out of pain now." "At least he got to see his daughter."
It's not enough.
Can we please agree to never say "at least" again?
Someone always has it worse. We all know that. That doesn't ease the pain of those who suffer. It doesn't comfort. It dismisses.
It says to the bereaved that they should count their blessings. And while we all know there are blessings to be found in many places, sometimes we just need a hug and for someone to abide with us.
At least give us that.