8w6d. Life continues!

All is well!


I actually managed to sleep fairly well last night much to my surprise. I woke up at 9 and immediately felt nervous, but it passed quickly.

My appointment was at 10:40. I got there at 10:25. I called David to make sure he was on his way and he was only a few minutes away, so I headed to the office. They were ready for me immediately. The u/s tech (my favorite one again!) asked if I was alone and I told her David would be there shortly. She had me wait until he arrived (he was there about 5 minutes later) and then we headed for the dildo cam.

They had new equipment, so she said that she was going to experiment on me a bit. And that meant she had a trainer lady with her to teach her to use the machine. All the better for me, because we got a long look at everything.

As soon as she started, I saw a flickering on the screen. She hadn't even focused yet and I said "Is that a heart I see flickering on the screen?" And she said "It sure is!" I exhaled deeply and said "We have a heartbeat!"

She looked at me and asked if that was in question. I explained that it was my third pregnancy, so I was nervous. She apologized that she didn't realize up front that I'd had repeated losses. She said she'd get straight to the baby and do her other stuff at the end. I told her to take her time. We know the baby is alive, she can do whatever she wants now.

So, she went about scanning. We go to see & hear the heartbeat. (about 186bpm) She took a CRL, which was 20mm, which is about 8 1/2 weeks, so close enough to make me happy. We saw the umbilical cord, the spine, little arm buds waving & little leg buds. The leg buds were harder to see, but the rest was really amazing. Oh, and of course, its giant head.

My left ovary is still swollen. Righty is back to normal but still has a cyst. Nothing unexpected.

As we got close to the end, the fire alarm went off. They told me to get dressed and went to check to see if we needed to evacuate or not. About the time I got my pants on we had to head outside. Fun times.

It's about 20 degrees here and windy. Just the sort of weather I like to hang out in.

Fortunately it didn't last too long. We headed back in and we all waited again. A few minutes later, they led me back to a room to see Dr. K.

Dr. K is fabulous as always. She was beaming at our good news. We talked a long time. The highlights were that my m/c risk is now less than 5%. I'm supposed to visit with the baby (yeah, 'cause I'm sure all the infertile women in the waiting room would just LOVE that.) and I'm off pelvic rest. She gave me info for when I can stop my progesterone supplements & the metformin. And I graduated!

No more RE for me. I told her I didn't want to go. I don't know how to be a regular person. (She assured me that I'm "special." ha!) But alas, off to the cold, cruel world I go.

As for how I'm feeling: atwitter. On the one hand, I'm excited beyond belief. On the other hand- holy shit! I feel a lot like I just found out I was pregnant for the first time. I guess because it's almost real. But I've spent so long trying to pretend that it's NOT possible, trying not to be excited, that I don't quite know how to just let it flow.

We were only in the parking lot of the office when David asked when we tell people. *gulp* I told him he could tell his mother tonight. I honestly hope he tells her when I'm not there. I'm still a bit stung from her reaction when we told her about the last pregnancy, and while it's probably bitter & petty, I just don't even want to talk to her. I'll probably tell my dad this weekend. I told him I'd still like to wait to tell everyone else until we hit the 2nd trimester. I'm not sure he approves, but such is life.

All in all, he didn't say much. He tried to give me the "I knew everything was fine" line and I told him with a laugh "yeah, but you're delusional." He said "No, I just had faith in you."

FAITH IN ME?! Gee, no pressure. I told him that it had nothing to do with me. It was all God & science. If it was just a matter of what I could do, we'd have a 5 month old. He nodded, but mostly seemed to be dismissing me. But all is well. I'm not sure my buzz can be killed today.

So, life continues. In more ways than one. Thank you God.


--Trish