Saturday, July 26, 2008


+15 grams.
Send more moose. Glad Canada has a lot of 'em.

Robbie's night nurse's name is Toika. I can't decide if I love that or not. The nurse that goes with it seems pretty nice, though, so I think I'll lean towards love.

I've decided that I really like people. No really.

I mean, I hate PEOPLE, but you know, individually, I really like people.

I really like to know their stories. Old people, young people, everyone in between.

Even people I don't really like seem to have a story.

I really like to hear them.

I was thinking about it because a set of twins in the NICU moved to special care yesterday. They were born not very long after Robbie and not much bigger. Their parents are.. to be frank..... older.

I'm guessing their mom is close to 50, but their dad is probably well into his 60's.

I was intrigued when I saw them at first. I just REALLY wanted to know their story. I still do, but I'm not nearly ballsy enough to ask. Truly, it's none of my business. But I'm curious. Did they marry late and decide to have kids? Do they have older kids and wanted one more? Were they totally surprised? Fertility helped? If so- who was their RE? I mean. I'm infertile. I NEED to KNOW. Come ooooon..

Anyway, they're really lovely people. We started chatting because there was a bit of a traffic jam one day and I was standing next to them kangarooing. We've been friendly every since.

They asked one of the nurses to let me know they'd been moved to the other NICU. I got the message today. I think I'll send them a note and give them my information. Even more than I want to know THEIR story, I want to keep up with the boys.

I feel so vested in the babies around us. Lots of them are graduating.

The baby with the heart murmur went home. I miss her dad. He was a lively one. He quit his job after his daughter was born. He'd apparently taken a week off and when he went back to work his boss (after having visited them in the hospital and seen both her smallness & scary medical situation) pulled him aside and said "we're opening a new location. We need you to be here more."

The dad's response was "You know what you need?"

Boss said "what?"

Dad said "My key."

"I'm sorry?" Boss replied.

"You need my key. I quit."

It's become my mantra when I'm angry. Any time someone does something that annoys me, I reply "You know what you need? My key! I quit!" I love it. Ballsy people make me giggle.

Of course, the twins are on the other side of the hospital now. So is a baby that was Robbie's "partner" (Paired up for nursing care) for a while. He started out not doing so well, he was extubated the day after Robbie was and a few days later, he graduated to the other NICU.

I feel so happy that they're doing well and moving forward, but also a bit left behind. I want Robbie to be doing as well.

Of course, I also see where we've come from. The baby next to Robbie right now was a 26 weeker born 2 weeks after him. His parents are also friendly. I like them because they're just as bitchy and over-involved as me. They're at the same point Robbie was 2 weeks ago. Lots of As & Bs, fearing the ventilator is coming back to them.

I've tried to be encouraging. And he had a better day today. So hopefully he's headed in the right direction.

Of course, there's Robbie's girlfriend. I adore both her parents and her grandma. Her grandma came to find me today. Since I've gone back to work, we keep different hours, so I hadn't seen her in about 2 weeks. It felt like a year.

All these new friends. I care about all of them. I want to know their stories and follow them and when our kids are all big and strong and driving us crazy, for us to have a get together and compare pictures of how tiny they were.

I'm a sap. I know.

I feel the same way about the stories I've found online. People comment on my blog and I follow their links and check their blogs daily. Sometimes I don't have the energy to comment (I'm a hypocrite, I know.) but I smile at chubby cheeks and pray for scary times.

This whole experience has left me enriched. As emotionally depleted as I feel sometimes from the worry and anxiety, I've also found a lot of love & compassion- both to and from me.



Mrs. Spit said...

Yep. We'll keep finding them. No problem. All the mosse you need. I'll build a bigger fire pit in the backyard. A corral behind the garage. Delta can herd them.

You've got our prayers and our Moose.

Thankful for the 15 grams. Keep hanging in there.

Amy said...

This is beautiful, Trish.

All About Amelia said...

This whole experience has left me enriched. As emotionally depleted as I feel sometimes from the worry and anxiety, I've also found a lot of love & compassion- both to and from me.
very well written trish. we continue to pray for Robbie and your family. Yeah for the weight gain!

Busted said...

Don't feel like a hypocrite for not commenting - sometimes we don't have enough emotional energy left to put anything out than what is going into our own struggles, and that's ok.

Speaking of which - I am reading every day and keeping you all in my thoughts, even if I am not commenting all the time - sometimes I just don't know what to say.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your story every day on this journey and you are an absolute inspiration with your strength. I love that you want to know all about these people that are traveling the same road. I wanted to share something that most hospitals do and you may already know about it. My mom and I both work in a hospital and they often have NICU reunions. Check with your hospital and see if they host these sort of events, it a great way to catch up with those who have graduated. If they don't have one maybe mention to their Public Relations department that they should get one going. This is a great way for all the parents to come back together once a year and connect and see how well the kids are doing.

All my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Two Hands said...

Putting out a salt lick....
Where I am moose outnumber people 2 to 1 so no problem.
Can we have a party when Robbie graduates? Please????
I know exactly what you mean about liking people though, I'm meeting all sorts of people here that I adore. As a rule, I'm not big on people, but there are some honest-to-goodness treasures out there. Not everyone has the good sense to notice though.
The more I read this blog, the more I like YOU and I'm afraid I'm quite smitten with your Robbie as well.
Pulling with all my might for you and yours.

Robyn said...

Keep those weight gains a coming Robbie!

I'm a sap as well and I think it's a great quality to have!

Aidan's mom said...

Yeah...don't worry about not commenting. I don't know if I would have had the emotional or physical energy to comment on someone else's blog when we were in the thick of the NICU days.

Yay on the weight gain!!!!

Oh and funny ballsy story. My husband was working for a "very large" software company when Aidan was born and his boss sent him a nasty email on his first day back after Aidan was born. Aidan is like 5 days old and hovering around 600 grams and on a ventilator. Yet my husband went back to work and did the best he could.

What floored me was this boss KNEW us and knew what had just happened to us. My DH fired off an email with a picture of Aidan with his hand behind him and his wedding ring slid up his arm that said something like, "I'm not sure if you are aware, but 5 days ago my wife almost died from a condition called HELLP syndrome while giving birth to my 1.5 pound son. Your compassion is overwhelming."

I can't believe nothing bad happened to my DH as a result. He later left that company after realizing he didn't want to work somewhere that devalued his experience with our son as much as they did.

Spork Fashion said...

You should definitely keep in touch, and organize a reunion in a year or two.

AngelsAmid said...

Yay :) more grams!

I read your blog everyday- though I don't always comment. Sorry! :) I'm so glad to hear he's doing well. I love his new pictures he's so adorable.

**Sissy** said...

Yay for more weight!

I'm guilty, I keep up on your blog every day or two and I hardly ever comment. But I have been here the whole time reading and crying along with you. I'm pulling for Robbie and keeping him and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for taking the time to share your story in such detail, I love reading your posts.