Long day

I started the day still feeling low.
The anxiety just really getting to me.

David took me to the hospital to get my car. It was still parked there from my incident the other day. I then headed to my doctor's appointment to discuss said incident.

The appt went well. I'm off all BP meds. My BP at the office was 120/70. She agrees that it was probably my BP dropping. I'm to keep monitoring my BPs at home. She said they may go up a little, but they seem to be headed in the right direction. I just took it tonight (after having gone more than 24 hours without meds) and it was 137/86. That's not so bad, all things considered. Hopefully it continues downward back to normal in a week or so.

From there, I went to the hospital to see Robbie. His day nurse today was lovely. Robbie was doing well, though it seemed like he was desatting a lot. (O2 levels dropping a bit.) They said his morning chest x-ray showed a little less expansion on the right side than they'd really like to see, but he'd been laying on his right side, so it could have been that. We had to wait for rounds to see if they were going to extubate him or not.

I sat with him a little while, then headed out to meet David for lunch. I was still feeling pretty low at lunch. I'm worried about David. He promised to call the doctor in the afternoon.

Got back to the hospital after lunch and sat with Robbie a while longer. I was able to Kangaroo him for about an hour and a half. I'll post pics tomorrow. I love that kid.

They put him back to bed and I continued to sit with him. While I was sitting, Dr. C came through and asked how Robbie was. I said "He's okay....I guess."

He asked why the sigh and I explained that it just seemed like he was desatting a lot.

He sat down and said that sometimes it happens and it isn't unexpected. It could be because his feedings have gone up so much- could be reflux. Could be a little fluid build up. It's frustrating but not abnormal.

I thanked him for the pep talk and he went on his way.

After work, David came to the hospital and joined us. He'd made a doctor's appointment for next Tuesday.

Dr. C came back through and this time gave a bigger pep talk.

He sat down and asked how we were feeling. I admitted I was worried but never knew quite what I should be worried about vs what was normal. He said that Robbie is doing better than 50% and that he still has no reason to believe he won't do very well- it just takes time.

He said that Dr. D is still hoping to extubate tomorrow, though he (Dr. C) isn't so sure they'll be able to. They'll reevaluate in the morning. But that he could come off the vent tomorrow and be off for weeks.. or he could be on the vent for another 2 weeks and neither would be out of the realm of a normal plan.

Right now, his goal for the next couple of weeks is for him to gain some wait and we work on his breathing. (He's still at 1lb 9oz, for those keeping track. His feeds are now up to 7.5ml/2 hours. Surely the kid has to gain some more weight soon.)

After the talk, I did feel better. Dr. C has such a positive, calming affect. After he walked away, I made some sexual innuendos about him and David granted his blessing.

Shortly thereafter, we headed home. I pretty much pumped and crawled into bed. All in all it was about a 14 hour day and I definitely felt it.

I'm up now to pump and then heading back to bed. I've definitely decided that too much sleep deprivation only worsens my mood. So I'm going to try to do better.

Please continue to pray for my little family. We're nowhere near out of the woods yet, though we seem to be on the right path.

--Trish