Rambling

Robbie had a pretty good day.

We didn't end up with the nurse from yesterday (she came by and said she had him for about 5 minutes, but everyone got shifted. There were comments about baby-snatching made to the nurse we ended up with. hehe.) but I also really liked the one we had. She's actually still in training, though in her last week, I think. You'd never know she's new. She was being shadowed by one of the other nurses I really like as well, so double the pleasure for us.

Anyway, there really wasn't much to report today. The bacteria that is growing in his trach aspirate turns out to be the same thing they found last week. While we hate that it's there, the fact that it's the same thing at least means he's being treated appropriately and nothing ELSE is going on, so we'll call that a draw. They started adding protein back to my breast milk today as well. That was pretty much it.

I didn't get to Kangaroo very long today. Between visiting the friend who had her baby early this morning (all is well- 8lb 10oz baby girl. She looks like a giant to me. All this time in the NICU has seriously altered my perception.) and going to David's grandpa's visition, there just wasn't a lot of time. We got about 90 minutes in, though.

The visitation was interesting. You know how it is... it's always like a little family reunion when someone dies. They all wanted to know about Robbie. I had the forethought to bring my IPOD with me which has Robbie pictures on it. Lots of questions. One of David's cousins asked when we'd know if Robbie has been affected long term with any disabilities. That's a big question. I answered honestly- probably 3 years. Developmental delays are fairly likely. It may be as simple as occupational therapy for something like a gross motor delay or as serious as Cerebral Palsy. Could be learning disbilities. Or it could be nothing. We just don't know.

I couldn't guage what she thought of the answer, but I let it lay and pretty much moved on. I knew the question was bound to come up eventually and I thought I'd be bothered by it. Maybe offended, but I wasn't. She didn't seem to be asking in a judgemental way but just genuine curiosity. She was sweet and said she'd been thinking of us and praying. David's family is very nice.

So I suppose that gets that out of the way. The first time it's been asked. And I got through it. Check that off the list.

Of course, David's aunt made me cry. She kept going on and on and about how she just knew this had to be hard on me etc etc.

Why is that? You're all strong and positive and then someone says "I see through that" and you just collapse? Bah!

Anyway, I managed to do okay, though. Just a few tears and then I was able to knock it off.

After the visitation we went back to the hospital so David could visit (fortunately the funeral home is fairly close to the hospital.)

I got to give Robbie a bath! It's more like a sponge bath, but still. I was nervous, but the nurse walked me through it. I didn't have a camera with me- having returned it to my friend yesterday- but the nurse got the NICU camera and took a couple. They printed them for us. David's taking them to work to scan them. I'll post 'em as soon as possible.

We did pretty well, I think. I only pissed him off a little and was able to calm him pretty quickly.

Oh.. and they weighed him! He broke 2 lbs again! Yesterday he was weighing 1lb 15.5 oz- that was w/o his vent tube on. Tonight he had his vent tube on and weight 2lb 1.5oz. Even allowing that half ounce for his vent tube, he's definitely over 2lbs again and since he's not all swollen up with fluid, it's official.

His little girlfriend next to him hit 2lbs yesterday so it's official! I think maybe this weekend we need some cupcakes for the nurses to celebrate. We'll see if I can work up the time and energy to make some.

Anyway, now that I've relieved my bosom of some milk and my mind of random thoughts, it's time to sleep.

The funeral is at 9am. David's a pall bearer, so he has to be there at 8, but I'm driving seperately. The burial will be a military one at Jefferson Barracks and between the driving and such, I'll need to pump immediately after, so I'll just go straight to the hospital while David does the family thing afterward. Plus I get to sleep an extra hour. And I don't even feel the slightest bit guilty about it.

G'night all!

--Trish

P.S. CT scan is set for Monday at 3. Think good brain thoughts for me!